The open carriage at the rear of the Blaeneau Ffestiniog railway is a beautiful place, and perhaps not the most obvious place to come up with a new political idea. But that is how it happened for me.
It all started in the fresh air. The guard locked us behind the gates, and myself and Mrs Baby settled down to enjoy the ride. Then someone in an unmistakeably savvern accent started up as he tucked his Daily Mail away. “Well I agree. Sort all the louts out. National Service. They should bring it back”. At that point I suddenly wondered if my fellow travellers in our carriage were to be treated to an hour and twenty minute no-holds-barred cage fight, but then it struck me. Perhaps he was right.
After all, we can’t deny that there are many people who are the scourge of society, people who do perhaps need a change of environment to adjust their attitudes. Louts who are criminals.
So this is my idea: national service for racists.
Well I don’t actually mean National Service in the Army. It seems like they’ve got enough problems with racists as it is. But what if someone who was convicted of a racially aggravated offence was given the option of working for charities in Darfur, Somalia, Pakistan, India etc as an alternative to prison. It would be a lot cheaper (cost of a flight and some minimal living expenses), some good would be done, and who knows, they may come back with a different world view. Maybe by seeing the situation at first hand, they might have greater empathy with people who have chosen to leave their home and come to the UK.
Perhaps it could be spread to homophobic crime – convicts could perhaps work for gay charities in Muslim countries. They could perhaps do work for AIDS charities in Africa, which might make them realise HIV/AIDS is not just a gay issue.
So I throw the matter over to the floor. What we need, if we are to change the politics of this country, is not refined ideas about supply-side economics, but to subvert right wing totems, converting them in to simple policies that even the Daily Mail (and that git I was in the carriage with) would have difficulty opposing.
“National service for racists” is my new policy. What’s yours? (in four words or less).
I like this….
I have the following:
1. Hanging…. for the royals
2. Corporal punishment…for “celebrities”
3. Privatisation of the Inland Revenue
4. Boris for London Mayor.
1 and 2 are very amusing. re: number 1 – do you have a particular order of priority, or would it be strictly in accordance with their place in the queue of where they are in line for the throne? Perhaps you could set the throne on a trap door. Just as they were crowned, someone put a noose round them and then pull a lever. We could wind up with a new king every week.
re: 2. Can I choose who and how they are punished?
I’d genuinely want to hear what your reasons/views are re: 3.
And I assume 4 is a joke of some sort. Well, Boris is a joke of sorts in himself.
3 and 4 were purely a joke (like…the first two weren’t?). 3 because I thought this would be about the most effective way of bringing about anarchy in the UK and 4 because…well, the same thing, really.