There is one major drawback to ripping the piss out of that jumped-up little prick Nicky Fucking Campbell’s weekly Guardian column: having to read it.
This week I have opted out – I just don’t have the mental strength today – so I am obliged to a friend for his considered critique:
God that Nicky “Blue Eyed Boy” Cnutbell is an ignorant cnut.
Campbell’s last column – about the cost of the 2012 Olympics – also managed to defy the sort of boundaries traditionally set by the mores of constructive criticism. However, for reasons that are probably only apparent to Alan Rusbridger, Campbell’s column of 23 November was published on the Guardian’s blog site, thus inviting comments from readers on what they had just read.
The first comment came from “DoctorDick” at 5.26am:
You do realise that it’s going to be the summer olympics in 2012 don’t you? There isn’t going to be any curling so Scotland will win sweet FA so why do you care? Tell you what, give me your surplus council tax money if you are so obliged to be rid of it. Better yet go back to the land of nessie and stick your head in a deep fat fryer. They should make that an event, I’d watch it. But I still wouldn’t pay for it.
“Hulahope” later commented:
There is a difference between journalists who stimulate interesting debate by playing devils advocate. And fools.
“ChuckT” waded in:
Why is your drivel, Campbell, allowed in the sports section when you know nothing about the subject. you are a clown.
And “AndrewM” managed:
Since Russell [Brand]‘s column became tolerable – not good, but tolerable – NC is my new figure of contempt. However, for once I will be sensible and simply avoid his garbage in future.
NC, you have been inflicted upon the British people for too long.
Do one.
“Doleywino” provided the coup de grace:
Nicky, it’s bad enough that I just can’t listen to Five Live in the mornings any more thanks to your self-important faux-intellectual unfunny know-all drivel. Why are we subjected to it in print as well?
You know how the British public wholeheartedly embraces some celebrities and takes them unto the collective national bosom? Well, you’re not one of them.
And all before lunchtime!
It’s always nice to learn that you are not alone in your irrational hatreds and prejudices.
Oddly enough, this week’s column is not open to reader comments…
Hosannah! What a relief that there are people out there that think like me and I’m not some madman, crouched alone in my room, jabbering my pustulant hatred of this loathsome, self-obsessed cnut. I was beginning to despair, attributing Cnutbell’s terrifying ubiquity to some kind of inexplicable universal popularity. Apparently, only his various employers don’t realise how there is simply not one positive thing you can say about Campbell or his output, save perhaps that he unites the people of Britain in their quasi-religious loathing. Hallellujah and Amen to everything in this post, particularly the guy who says: “Do one”.