1. Paul Heiney (and, by logical deduction, the lovely Libby Purves) takes The Times on a Saturday and returns to the newsagent’s until he finds a copy complete with all the magazines and supplements.

2. The application of custard (green or otherwise) to the right set of chops NEVER gets old or loses its capacity to amuse.

Guacamole, anyone?

3. The BBC still can’t report on the Miners’ Strike of 1984-5 with anything like accuracy, impartiality or credibility. (And today’s Guardian editorial is little better. No, I won’t link to it.)

4. Four-day migraines really fuck up 6½ day holidays.

5. The last remaining GP in the Minister’s surgery thinks ACE Inhibitors may help stop the Minister from getting further four-day migraines.  But they may also make him faint randomly a few times in the coming days.  The hilarity never ends.