Ring, ring.

“Hello.  [The Minister of Truth].”

“Why the Hell are you suing me?”

“Er, who are you?”

“I’m Mr. [Man With A Name].”

“Just a moment, Mr. [Man With A Name], while I have a look at the file.  [pause]  Ah, yes.  Mr. [Man With A Name]?”

“Yes.”

“You are the claimant in this matter, so you are actually suing us.”

“Oh.”

Slam.  Click.  Brr.