If you want to learn just how clueless and spineless Labour MPs are, read Allegra Stratton’s article “Why plot to oust Gordon Brown failed” in today’s Harry Potter Bugle. Seriously, how cluelessly fuckwitted are these people?

By Wednesday evening, the covert tactic unravelled as thousands of emails arrived. Apart from the odd one from genuinely sympathetic MPs, spoofs, foreign emails, and junk emails flowed in.

Who’d'a thunk that a Hotmail address leaked to a national newspaper might not be the best way to conduct these affairs? (Particularly when I am reliably informed that the rebels without a clue all have ENORMOUS penises and therefore have no need for lengthening potions and devices.)

Meanwhile, I can exclusively reveal that Roger Alton’s pulsating organ, The Independent, is both (a) clueless, and (b) dishonest.

It is true that the great bulk of the British public wants a change at the top – but nothing suggests that by this they mean a new leader of the Labour Party; no opinion polls have indicated that with Alan Johnson, or David Milliband, or (fill in gap) as leader of the party, its electoral chances would be transformed.
- Dominic Lawson, The Independent, 9 June 2009, page 27

Er…

Johnson would deny Tories outright victory
‘Independent’ poll reveals that new leader could transform Labour’s prospects
- The Independent, 9 June 2009, page 1

Once upon a time newspaper employed sub-editors, proofreaders and sense checkers to avoid this kind of idiotic and entirely preventable error.

Now, a work experience kid just changes the t’Internet version of the story and fails to say that they have done so:

It is true that the great bulk of the British public wants a change at the top – but little suggests that by this they mean a new leader of the Labour Party; only one opinion poll has indicated that with Alan Johnson, or David Miliband, or (fill in gap) as leader of the party, its electoral chances would be improved.
- Dominic Lawson, The Independent, 9 June 2009, online edition

Even bearing in mind Lawson’s usual pisspoor efforts, this is pathetic stuff.

And we can now firmly discount The Independent as an accurate, honest and impartial historical record.