Justice

A slowly growing sense of hopelessness and impending doom

Story #1: London’s burning. Again.

Story #2: The markets are in freefall and various economies are failing. Again.

Story #3: There’s been a massive increase in crime in rural areas since the recession started.

I don’t know what story #4 was on the BBC’s early evening news yesterday because I switched off at that point.

Each of the stories was presented in isolation, with fuck all by way of analysis or thought apart from a flash of Stephanie Flanders’ revolting green skirt.

It’s all linked, of course, and none of it is remotely surprising for those with half-an-inch of long-term memory. It happened in the 80s during a recession. It happened during the 90s in a recession. Just because we didn’t have a recession for 15 years doesn’t mean we should raise an eyebrow that the slash and burn approach to economics adopted by PBD and Gideon have resulted in exactly the same social upheaval that occurred when That Bloody Woman did the same thing three decades ago.

There are only two differences now.

First, rolling news channels have been invented. They’ve got to fill all that airtime somehow. The riots of the 80s just got ten minutes at the start of the evening news bulletin. Now it’s all riots, all the time. Breaking news is the new light entertainment.

Second, our leaders – the people in whom apparently sane and rational individuals were inexplicably prepared to place their trust just over a year ago – were absent. Whatever other flaws she had (and I think she had a couple), you can’t imagine a complete vacuum in Downing Street when That Bloody Woman was in charge. Even Bliar and Arrivederci Gordon realised some bugger had to hold the fort.

Everybody deserves a holiday. Even PBD and Gideon. (Or, more accurately, their families.) But, in real life, everybody in my department is not allowed to go on holiday at the same time. It is shameful beyond comprehension that the Prime Minister, the Deputy Prime Minister, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, the Home Secretary and the Mayor of London were all on holiday at the same time.

And I notice Chauncey Gardiner was on his hols, too, only deigning to come back from Devon’s Adenoid Extraction Recovery Unit AFTER PBD had announced he was getting on a plane to fly back from Tuscany. That tells you everything you need to know about our Leader (sic) of the Opposition.

What was our Coalition administration’s stunning Plan B while everyone topped up their tans? William Hague and Vince Cable. The former, a man whose leadership credentials have already been roundly rejected by the British electorate in a plebiscite; the latter, a man whose sole achievement over the past 15 months has been to demonstrate his lack of temperamental suitability for ministerial office. It shows how well the Don’t Panic Double Act went that first Nick Clegg, then Theresa May and then finally PBD dragged their sorry arses back to work like a half-hearted zombie invasion.

Gideon remains absent, soaking up the Californian sun. Rome burns but it’s nothing to do with him, guv.

Of course, the real salt is yet to be rubbed into the wound. Wait for it – it’s coming: the emergency police powers. We’re inches away from a police state. But then maybe that’s what our politicians have wanted all along.

And one final thing. What the fuck has this got to do with the Olympics? How many people were murdered in Los Angeles in 1983? Or Beijing in 2007? Grow a fucking pair. If you want to try to shift attention away from the fact that you have wrought this on yourselves by pursuing exclusionary policies, fine. But some of us would have preferred all along if the £9.3 billion or more of public money being spent on the Olympics had been spent pursuing inclusionary policies.

Not for the first time, the Minister quotes with approval Tom McRae:
Rioters of London, remember to leave some real estate standing so mortgage companies have a product to deny you.
I wish the poor shopkeepers luck in claiming on their insurance or getting small business loans. The wrong buildings are on fire.

(Thanks to Radio Nixon for the post title.)

I may have found someone who loathes Google even more than I loathe Google

I love Google Maps. Like Google Search. Use Gmail.

But, increasingly, I’ve grown nervous about the vast scope Google has over the Internet. Users have virtually no place on the world wide web, no safe haven, no single moment, from Google’s reach.

They are a for-profit megacorp that holds more information about me, my family, and you and your family than any government — and they sell that information, every second of every day to the highest bidder.

They have typically between 75%-99% of the search market in countries around the world and doctor results to put selected results, typically the ones that most directly benefit Google, up at the top. While spending millions and millions of dollars lobbying governments around the world to shield them from monopoly laws, content and publishing laws, privacy laws, no-track regulations and more.

I am disgusted by Google and the way they seek to equalize all content. All content is not equal, this is a intellectual fallacy. Or, possibly, an anti-intellectual one. Google compounds this by taking all content they can access, and scrapes what they can’t, and then wraps their ads around it — to make money off everyone else’s content. Don’t like it? Just have Google bypass you. Of course, screen scraping proves they won’t bypass you if they really want your content. If they don’t want it — meaning, can’t make any real money off it — they’re more than happy to use their monopoly power to make you invisible. Sort of like if the government didn’t like what you’ve been saying about them and decides not to give your business a postal address.

I also have come to dislike much of Google because they very quickly went from big company that sells my personal information to strangers, which makes me nervous, to a company that innovates at nothing yet spends *billions* of dollars from one business to enter new markets and destroy existing businesses.

If you have a monopoly business and generate monopoly profits and take those monopoly profits to another industry and *gave away* what your competitors (must) charge for, which led you to quickly capture the *dominant* maret share, would you…

…whine like a bitch?

Because Google does. And has.

Larry, Sergey, you are pussies.

You have deluded yourself into thinking you have earned a level of success where having billions and billions and being able to use those billions to always get what you want, whether through buying up or destroying is your *right*. Probably why Google hasn’t innovated a single fucking thing in over a decade.

Everything — every single fucking thing — since Bill Clinton has been a copy, a steal, a buy-out — or a take down.

Brian S Hall – Google Are Pussies

This is the end of the world news, sponsored by God

I feel sympathy for some of the people at the News of the World who are losing their jobs. I don’t like to see anybody lose their jobs (apart from That Bloody Woman, Bliar and the entire current cabinet, natch). Some of those people are truck drivers and printers and office staff and cleaners who have nothing to do with the “journalism” carried out by some on the newspaper.

And some of the others are honest journalists who have never had anything to do with anything that might raise an eyebrow, let alone lead to criminal investigations, prosecutions and/or convictions.

Those people do deserve some sympathy. With the best will in the world, there are not enough jobs around these days for everyone to be able to say on principle, “I won’t work for News International because of Rupert Murdoch.” People have families to feed, clothe and house. It looks as though quite a few innocent people are going to suffer for the crimes of a few and I am really sorry about that.

And it is sad that a title that endured for almost 130 years before Murdoch got his hands on it has met such a ridiculous end. To some extent, the last 40 years of the NOTW‘s life were something of an aberration in the context of its entire history. Like the Mirror and Mail before they went tabloid, the NOTW was once a respected home of investigative journalism. It broke a lot of important stories in those 168 years – and (whether it’s cool to admit it or not right now) there were plenty during Murdoch’s ownership, too, if you could find them within the tawdry tattle that made up the bulk of its content throughout my lifetime. The Observer will soon follow the NOTW into oblivion when Harry Potter finally gets his way and proud titles like that deserve better than the ignomy being thrust upon them by men not fit to fluff those who went before.

All that said – and I mean every word – it’s hard to feel too sorry to see any part of the News Corporation empire slide out of view, even if it is almost certain to be replaced very soon by a (no doubt equally tawdry) Sun on Sunday. Cor, just look at the tits on that.

But anybody who thinks that the corrupt and unlawful practices that were carried on by some members of NOTW staff are confined to the NOTW are deluded. If you think mid-market and highbrow titles don’t do that sort of thing, then look at the Information Commissioner’s report from a few years ago [warning: PDF].

If yesterday – delicious as it was in so many ways – is to mean anything in the long run, the promised enquiries and ongoing police investigations need to look at more than just the activities of some on the News of the World and drive that particularly malevolent strand of journalism back into the gutter.

If James Murdoch thinks the answer, “At this moment, yes,” is an appopriate answer to the question, “Are you absolutely certain that these practices did not extend to The Sun?”, he needs to be shown the error of his arrogance.

And if News Corporation and/or News International think refusing to accept Rebekah Wade-Mitchell-Brooks’s resignation is the right thing to do at this juncture, then Ofcom really needs to grow a pair and see whether its “right and proper” muscle still retains any memory at all.

Flaccidity

I thought Iain Duncan-Smith would be the worst Leader of the Opposition I ever experienced.  Wholly lacking in personality, gravitas, communication skills or the indefinable leadership ‘X factor’, his only redeeming feature was that he was a fully paid up member of the Toryscum and his maladroit tenure was therefore amusing to me.

Edward Samuel Miliband has, however, romped clear in the race to be the least competent and most clueless holder of the office.  The distance Miliband – a man so inept I can’t even be bothered to think of a soubriquet for him – has put between himself and the likes of Duncan-Smith, Howard and Foot resembles nothing so much as the way Shergar drew clear of the field in the 1981 Derby.

Miliband’s campaign for the leadership was pathetic insofar as he sought to claim that the calamaties of the Bliar and Arrivederci Years were nothing to do with him.  That untrue, self-serving claim ensured he did not get my vote.

Interestingly, of course, he didn’t win the vote of MPs and MEPs.

He didn’t win the vote of party members, either.

While I am in favour of both trades unions and proportional representation, you do have to wonder whether everything is entirely rosy in the garden when a candidate who lost two of the three electoral colleges on offer still wins the election.

I’ve given him as much time and cut him as much slack as I could.  But while I largely decry the knee-jerk reactionism so beloved of rolling news channels, there is also a point at which you have to accept that things are not working out and that persevering with the status quo will do more damage in the longer-term than the short-term damage of changing leaders for a second time in twelve months.

The way politicians sound and look matters.  It shouldn’t matter – and certainly not as much as what they say and do – but it does.  And Miliband sounds and looks dreadful.  For wont of a better description, he looks and sounds floppy.  While having the charisma of a breeze block didn’t stop John Major, at least he was not handicapped by also being ill-at-ease with himself and others.

So, awkward and floppy.  It’s not much of a selling point, is it?

And the electorate can’t help but draw an unfavourable conclusion in comparison with the presidential swagger and unrelenting smoooooothness offered by PBD. (LL Cool D, anyone?)

That Bloody Woman and Bliar were lucky Prime Ministers in that they faced (largely) awful Leaders of the Opposition at most of the elections they fought.  If we hope to have a welfare state, a state education system and an NHS to leave to our children, we can’t repeat that mistake.  We have to put up a vertebrate against them.

The final straw for me came with Miliband’s abysmal decision to call for Kenneth Clarke’s resignation last month.  Clarke fucked up during one radio call-in, fair enough, but anybody who has actually paid any attention to British politics over the past 30 years knows that Clarke is one of the last Toryscum standing on whom social democrats should not automatically urinate.

Miliband’s judgement was abysmal on the day of Clarke’s problems, but I might have been able to overlook it had he not compounded the problem 48 hours later by publishing a pitiful attempt at self-justification in The Independent (effectively the only ‘quality’ newspaper left to the Minister until Harry Potter is finally sacked for bankrupting The Guardian).

He could have just moved on and hoped that everyone would forget.  But he didn’t.  In a lovely little microcosm encapsulating his entire time in office, his judgement was awful and his performance worse.  He stood limply at the despatch box savaging Clarke like a dead squirrel and then awkwardly spewed anaemic, nonsensical drivel in the direction of news microphones and newspaper column typesetters.  It was only marginally less infuriating than it was embarrassing.

(I’m not going to waste everyone’s time by repeating again the various arguments about why Clarke should have rightly been called for his poor use of language in espousing a perfectly sensible penal policy proposal and then left to get on with it.  I will, however, observe that Miliband’s limp posturing almost certainly resulted in that policy being spiked.  So well done, Ed.  Fucking brilliant work.)

For the record, I voted for Ed Balls in the Labour leadership ballot.  I don’t care whether or not he’s a nice guy: he is undoubtedly the best performing senior Labour politician against the Eton Trifles.  He gets under their skin; he gets at them; he gets to the point; he gets that point across.  The contrast with Edward Samuel Miliband could scarcely be starker.

Anyway, enough whining about nonentities.  Typography For Lawyers has just landed on my desk.  And I may have just wet myself a little bit.

Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto: you’re beautiful!

English libel law is fucked up beyond all recognition.

Thanks to its costs and evidential rules (English libel law being one of a tiny number of areas of law in which a defendant must prove his/her innocence rather than the other way around), it is being abused repeatedly by the wealthy, forcing journalists, authors and publishers to work under increasingly restrictive conditions.  British democracy isn’t working terribly well these days and a free and unfettered press is vital to robust ideological debate and a healthy democracy.

Recently, the remit of the libel courts has extended to the scientific community.  Simon Singh, the science writer, is being sued for libel by the British Chiropractic Association over an article he wrote last year for The Guardian.  Alan Rusbridger has removed the article in question from his newspaper’s website, though a copy can be read here.

I’m going to err on the side of caution where the Contempt of Court Act 1981 is concerned but if you can spot the libel in that article, you’re a better man than me.

I believe it not only desirable but fundamental for the health and development of society that matters of public interest can be discussed openly and criticised constructively without fear of being dragged through the libel courts.  Scientists must be free to evaluate hypotheses and knock them back if they fail scientific scrutiny.

A plethora of issues surrounding English libel law urgently needs addressing by our politicians – HA! – but in the meantime, if you feel strongly about freedom of thought and freedom of speech, you may wish to consider putting your name to a petition being organised by the charitable trusts Sense About Science stating that it is inappropriate to use the English libel laws to silence critical discussion of medical practice and scientific evidence.

Click the button below if you wish to add your support.

sas-libel-2

Proctorology

To squeal ’McCarthyism! McCarthyism!’ just because a few MPs have been made to repay money they wrongfully trousered and a handful that are nearing retirement age anyway have been given a year’s notice of redundancy on a generous pension is political illiteracy of the highest order.

Spot on.

Incidentally, I’ve just realised that the insufferable Anthony “My House Is Nicer Than Yours” Steen MP is THIS Anthony Steen MP:

Anthony Steen was fined this week after he parked his car at Newton Abbot railway station in Devon as he headed by train to London. The Totnes MP said he could not find anywhere else to park and ended up using one of the eight disabled bays.

He paid for a ticket but a member of the public tipped off a local newspaper.

Mr Steen, 67, said that in 24 years of commuting to London as an MP he had only ever seen one car parked in the disabled bays at the station.

He said: “I should not have parked there and I am sorry for that but there was nowhere else I could go.

“There were no cars in any of the disabled bays so I parked in the one nearest to the non-disabled parking spaces.

“The number of disabled bays is disproportionate to the number of handicapped people living in the area.

“I support making the life of every handicapped person easier, but we should not discriminate against the able-bodied.”

Mr Steen also accused the person who tipped off a local newspaper of being “very sneaky”.

“There are too many busybodies in this world running around complaining,” he said. “There are too many whiners and whingers.”

What a loss he’s going to be to British political life.

Seriously: what a cunt.

Now my stomach is sick

YOU MOTHERFUCKING, HYPOCRITICAL, SHITEHAWK, CHANCER CUNT!

Former Home Secretary David Blunkett says the government should scrap plans to introduce ID cards for all in favour of mandatory biometric passports.

Speaking at InfoSec 2009, a security conference held in London, the MP for Sheffield Brightside said biometric passports could do the job.

He said he had put the idea to the current Home Secretary Jacqui Smith.

It is something of a u-turn for the MP who first mooted the idea of ID cards when he was Home Secretary in 2001.

Wave goodbye, the spineless, pathetic fucking lot of you.

Now I know there’s no way I can right those wrongs

On Sunday 2 September 1990 Melvyn Bragg finally confirmed he’d permanently lost the plot by devoting a South Bank Show Special to George Michael in celebration of the release the next day of Yog’s second solo album Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1.

Nearly two decades on, that album is remarkable mainly for its mediocrity. The singles tanked – in turn reaching numbers 6, 23, 28, 31 and 45 in the UK, in no small part thanks to Precious’s oh-so-artistic decision not to appear in his own videos – after which Bubble promptly lobbed his toys from his pram where his record company was concerned, all but retiring from the studio for six years until Virgin bought out his deal with Sony.

The best tracks on the album remain a Stevie Wonder cover (They Won’t Go When I Go) and a single with an annoyingly-infectious chorus that performed much better on the charts when Robbie Williams covered it six years later (Freedom ’90).

For much of the album Michael bangs on about the awful state of the world and, in particular, just how unbelievably horrific it is to be a multi-millionaire, multi-award winning singer and songwriter with never-ending access to all the drugs and groupies you can eat.

The sentiment is about as easy for the average punter to swallow as was Bono whining a couple of years earlier about how he Still Hadn’t Found What He Was Looking For. (Perhaps the diminutive Dubliner simply couldn’t see it hidden behind all those enormous piles of his cash.)

Yog won’t even let that particular bone go on the album’s closing track, Waiting (Reprise). The difference here, however, is that this slowed-down, stripped-back version of the album’s torpid third single, Waiting For The Day, contains the best lyric and most soulful vocal of Michael’s career.

It being the one track from the album remaining on my My Top Rated playlist, Waiting (Reprise) has always held something of a fascination for me, echoing as it does an interview I read with ABC’s Martin Fry from around the same time saying that even on the night he celebrated The Lexicon Of Love album reaching number one he felt empty, realising that his ultimate musical achievement was leaving him hopelessly unfulfilled.

(It came as little surprise that Bubble chose Waiting (Reprise) to open his recent 25 Live tour; it not only builds to a crescendo of “Here I am!”, but that final note is still comfortably within Michael’s increasingly limited range.)

The feeling when listening to Michael soulfully crying Waiting (Reprise) is that the singer genuinely doesn’t know the answer to the artfully-constructed, if self-pitying, question: “You look for your dreams in Heaven, but what the Hell are you supposed to do when they come true?”

Having achieved everything he thought he wanted and everything he strove for years to attain, it made him fucking miserable. A story old as time – having been awarded the ultimate prize, the prizewinner simply didn’t know what to do with it.

George’s answer was to smoke so much weed that he became a Flowerpot Man. While I can certainly see the attractions of that, it’s not a route I can necessarily condone for today’s equivalent, the Right Honourable James Gordon Brown MP.

It took the poor miserablist 14 years from election as a Member of Parliament to enter government. It then took a further decade before he could make the short walk from 11 Downing Street to the neighbouring abode. While he was – broadly speaking – a solid enough Chancellor, he never even tried to hide just how badly he wanted the Premiership or how little he felt Tony Blair deserved the crown.

Rightly or wrongly (and I never saw too much evidence to substantiate the claim) Brown was perceived as all gravitas and sincerity to Blair’s Chancerite philosophy of smiling vacuously and talking bollocks like a Hughie Green for the 90s. The feeling was that after Brown had done Waiting For That Day, he would herald a new dawn, a serious antidote to the complete and utter fluff of the Blair era.

As he finally stood outside Number 10 in June 2007, the nation wanted to believe that it was going to get its credibility back. As we had in May 1997, so we demonstrated – at first – a willingness to believe that things were now, finally, going to get better. I, too, was prepared to go with the flow.

The shit sandwich he has served up to the British population since late September 2007 has been a rude awakening for us all. But at least he found time to pay tribute to Jade Goody, eh?

As Arrivederci would have known if he’d listened to Waiting (Reprise) more attentively, “There ain’t no point in moving on until you’ve got somewhere to go.” Yet, remarkably, the man who had been so consumed for so long with the pursuit of the Prime Ministerial office seems never to have thought about what he would do with the power once he got it.

Blown this way and that by the vicissitudes of life the poor wretch has lurched from crisis to crisis, attempting to patch up his administration with populist utterance after knee-jerk initiative. Nobody is fooled anymore – he just isn’t up to the job.

(Not, I should add in all fairness, that there is anybody else in either of the two main parties that inspire anything remotely approaching confidence that they could do appreciably better, with the sole possible exception of professional Tory leadership election loser Kenneth Clarke.)

The man who claimed he went into politics to help the poor is the man who as Chancellor and Prime Minister has overseen a situation whereby people earning as little as £6,400 a year now pay income tax. The minimum wage is £5.73 an hour: you therefore only have to work for 21 hours a week at minimum wage to pay income tax. More than two millions of Britain’s poorest taxpayers face marginal tax rates in excess of 60%, a situation that will only become worse when VAT shoots up to 20%, as it surely now must at the end of this year. Keir Hardie’s fairly glowing with pride.

While the introduction of the 50% income tax band on the highest-earning 1% of the population is welcome and grabs some easy headlines, it does nothing for those most in need and raises (in terms of the stratospheric debt mountain we must now scale as a nation) sod all in revenue.

The man who built his reputation as a fiscal colossus on three pillars – deregulated wholesale financial services markets; open-to-all consumer finance; and a domestic property bubble – now oversees a financial services sector in tatters, with neither banks lending nor individuals borrowing, and a ruined housing market which still has far further to fall than the 20% already lost over the past year.

The ever-reliable Vince Cable was right this week to point out that it’s more than a little sickening to see Brown and Darling shoring up the same mortgage-backed securities that got us into this mess with public money that doesn’t exist, legitimising bribery to try to get consumers to buy foreign cars, and hiring the same former investment bankers who fucked us all over to try to convince foreign lenders to buy the country’s debt – particularly when the administration still clings to discredited white elephants such as the ID card scheme, the nationwide NHS IT project, a replacement for Trident, and so on.

We couldn’t afford follies like these before the ship hit the iceberg: there is now no excuse at all for Captain Darling having stood up (albeit briefly – Wednesday’s was the second shortest Budget speech since 1945: precisely the sort of leadership we need when everything’s going to so swimmingly…) and failing to kick them firmly into touch.

Today’s Bloomberg pen portrait of the Downfall-like scene apparently playing out behind that black, shiny door in SW1 is heartbreaking and hilarious in equal measure. There’s no doubt in my mind that Arrivederci is a fundamentally decent enough bloke who has been dealt a bum hand – the staplers, computer printers and mobile phones he’s launching around Downing Street are simply a manifestation of the frustration that must be steadily eating through his soul. But it’s not good enough.

George’s last, most heartfelt question in Waiting (Reprise) is: “is it too late to try again?”

Sadly, Gordon, it’s now much too late for anything but goodbyes and – to Labour’s eternal shame – another decade of Tory government.