The Minister and his wife should currently be in Bristol getting hammered with the Minister’s former colleagues from 2004-5.
We began our journey shortly before noon. We arrived at our local railway station to discover that the information boards were not working, the lifts were not working, the vending machines were not working and the trains were running late.
Delayed, our what-everyone-will-always-call-Thameslink train chugged slowly into Farringdon, where we transferred onto the Circle Line to take us six stops to Paddington.
Thanks to a “failed train ahead”, that six-stop, four-mile journey took 45 minutes.
Which meant we alighted at Paddington station mere minutes after the 1415 train for Bristol, on which we were booked, departed.
We went to the Ticket Office to ask if we could use our 1415 train tickets on the next Bristol train, departing at 1515.
The man at the Ticket Office sent us to the Customer Services Desk.
The woman on the Customer Services Desk told us she couldn’t help us and referred us to the Ticket Office.
Joseph Heller couldn’t have written this better.
Eventually we learnt we could either buy completely new single tickets for the 1515 (£48 apiece) or “update” our existing tickets, at a cost of a £15 admin fee and a £17 upgrade fee each.
We declined First “Great” Western’s generous offer and headed back home, courtesy of £17 in cab fare and £33 more in rail tickets to get us from St Pancras (which’ll look great once it’s finished) back home.
We unlocked our front door almost exactly four hours after we’d locked it.
It’s almost as though privatisation of Britain’s public transport system didn’t quite have the desired effect.
“We want the country to be able to regard the railways not only with affection but with pride.”
- Earl of Caithness, opening the debate on the second reading of the Railways Bill, 15 June 1993“Rail privatisation will bring extra efficiency, free up investment, expand choice, enhance services that the customer wants. Privatisation should be judged by the result.”
- Brian Mawhinney, Department of Transport press release, 17 October 1994
Fucking Tory cunts.
