Swimsuit parade
So, manhandling my enormous European election postal ballot form, it seems I can vote for:
Animals Count – “a political party to help create a better world for people and animals”
British National Party – “protecting British jobs““nasty racists”
Christian Party – “proclaiming Christ’s Lordship”
Conservative Party
English Democrats Party – “putting England first!”
Jury Team
Liberal Democrats [yes, they really do still exist, apparently]
No2EU: Yes to Democracy
Pro Democracy: Libertas.eu
Socialist Labour Party (Leader Arthur Scargill)
The Green Party
The Labour Party
United Kingdom First
United Kingdom Independence Party
or
Peter Edward Rigby – Independent
It’s nice that the Christians believes that it’s Christian to have as the main slogan on their website, “Britain is a Christian country. Vote to keep it that way!” Amen to that, my tolerant, cheek-turning brothers and sisters. Just for that, I thought I’d give this another run out:
(It’s one in the eye for the nasty racists, too, because I think Ariane Sherine’s skin might be a bit too dark for their liking. In fact, she should probably fuck off back home to, er, London…)
By my reckoning, only three of the parties for which I can vote are actually pro-Europe – Lib Dems, Green, Labour.
Eight of the 15 candidate parties are anti-EU: BNP, English Democrats, Jury Team, No2EU, Libertas, Socialist Labour, UK First and UKIP. If they’re so opposed to the fucking institution, why do they want to be inside its tent pissing out?
Christ (or possibly the Christian Party) knows what Peter Edward Rigby thinks about the EU because he doesn’t seem to have bothered to set up a website or produced any election literature.
And while I’ve nothing against animals per se – after all, I eat them – do they really need a single-interest political party?
The Minister’s Wife spoiled her ballot paper. Surprisingly, given the options, this was not a deliberate act of protest, merely an act of fuckwittedness.
I was tempted to vote for Libertas on the grounds that they too want to kill themselves, but then I realised I was confusing Libertas and Dignitas.