What the fuck is it with Simon Cowell?

Why does that smug cunt insist on ruining everything that is good and right about pop music?

It started with Unchained Melody.

It continued with The Long And Winding Road, Cowell's hairless little boys Will 'n' Gareth incredibly concocting a version with less depth than that created by Phil Spector.

Last year his particular brand of evil appeared to reach its apotheosis with Hallelujah.

Now he's found a way of taking it a stage further still.

Now he's taking a very public shit on Don't Stop Believin'.

Don't Stop Believin', for fucksake.

It's official: nothing is sacred.

Motherfucking motherfucker.

Galileo was imprisoned for less.

If I ever get my hands on a Members Only jacket that fits me, Cowell, you gonna be swimmin' wit da fishes…