I laughed as I read rent-a-gob John Harris’s article about his scepticism about R.E.M.’s forthcoming album Accelerator threatening a “return to form”, not least because of this passage:

The recent(ish) career of the Rolling Stones provides plenty of examples. As I recall, their propaganda machine did its work, and 1989′s Steel Wheels was said to be “a return to form” and “their best album since Exile on Main Street”, only it wasn’t. Five years later, memories of this outrageous con trick had been forgotten, and much the same reaction greeted 1994′s Voodoo Lounge (garbage, aside from the pleasantly pantomimic You Got Me Rocking). Ditto 1997′s Bridges to Babylon. By 2005, boomer nostalgia, record company hype and – once again – the critical fraternity’s absence of collective memory conspired to couch A Bigger Bang in terms of a comeback that would somehow tilt the world off its axis. But no: once again, it was a howling disappointment. Far be it from me to blow my own trumpet, but I made the point in a review for The Observer, only for at least one outraged rock hack to contact the paper and tell them that – you’ve guessed it – it was actually a “return to form”. Sometimes, you just want to give up.

I don’t like to say, “I told you so,” but, er, I told you so, Mr. Bearded_Baby.

Anyway, I adore R.E.M.  I believe R.E.M. to be among the very best of those acts on the rung below The Beatles, occupying the same area reserved for the quality of creativity of such artistes as U2 and David Bowie.  Without R.E.M. my life would have been immeasurably poorer and, though they maintain you should never meet your heroes, I would very much like to buy Michael Stipe a drink and stroke his head.

The Minister likes R.E.M. so much, he even willingly dosed himself up on anti-inflammatories and voluntarily assumed pain to stand in a 20,000-strong crowd in Trafalgar Square (with the Minister’s Wife and Mr. and Mrs. Domdeplume for company) for about five hours to see and hear the band perform a truncated set at the 2001 South Africa Freedom Day Concert.

But, as with U2 and David Bowie, I do not defend their every recording: Monster, for example, was every bit as bad as Green, Out Of Time and Automatic For The People had been magnificent.  And while they contain some wonderful individual tracks, neither 1998′s Up nor 2001′s Reveal were great albums.

But I found myself buying into the hype ahead of the release of 2004′s Around The Sun.  The lead single, Leaving New York, remains one of R.E.M.’s loveliest songs and I found myself anticipating the album’s release more eagerly than almost any before or since.  I actively made a point of going to Fopp on the Monday of its release so that I might examine it in detail at the earliest opportunity.

I still can’t put into words just how colossal a letdown I received.

The warning signs started flashing when I discovered Leaving New York was side one, track one.  Sure enough, there isn’t another decent track on the album.

I listened to it twice that night and twice the next night.  My criticism, if anything, grew harsher with each play.  On Wednesday night I put the CD on eBay and within a few days I had sold it.

I still can’t quite believe that an R.E.M. live album has subsequently been released and I haven’t bought it (particularly considering just how much cash I’ve spent over the years on their bootlegs), but the Around The Sun experience still stings to the extent that I will not be buying Accelerator straight off the bat.

However much the Recording Industry Association of America might squeal, BitTorrent sites like the Minister’s portal of choice provide a valuable service that has not really existed in my lifetime as a music buyer – the listening booth experience of the Sixties, whereby you could listen to what you were buying before you parted with hard cash.

I’m very happy indeed to pay for music – I believe musicians deserve to be paid and I like owning a tangible, permanent recording – but I don’t want to pay for lemons like Around The Sun.  And if you treat your customers with contempt by hyping a second-rate product such as Around The Sun, you can’t really blame customers for finding a cheaper way of educating themselves.

The 30-second track previews on iTunes are OK as far as they go, but as every Match Of The Day producer knows, it is just about possible to polish a 90 minutes-long 0-0 turd into a watchable 120 seconds-long highlights package.

The Pirate Bay means I will be able to listen to Accelerator in full before deciding whether or not to invest further in Peter Buck’s pension fund.  If it’s worth it (and I very much hope it is), I’ll buy it.  Human nature being what it is, I recognise that not everybody will do the same and that many will just download the torrent, whack it on their iPod and think no more of it.  If a similar facility had been available to me when I was a student I probably would have done the same – but maybe that’s as much to do with the overcharging for albums with which record companies persist than it is to do with greed.  If albums cost a fiver, I hazard that record labels would sell a lot more of them than when they persist in charging £12.99 for them…

While I consider Radiohead to be comically overrated, their experiment with their recent In Rainbows release was a brave – but necessary – experiment.  It is a shame they have so far refused to release the details of how many people downloaded the album, how many paid for it and what they paid, but Thom Yorke has commented:

In terms of digital income, we’ve made more money out of this record than out of all the other Radiohead albums put together, forever.

In the same piece Yorke also acknowledged:

The only reason we could even get away with this, the only reason anyone even gives a shit, is the fact that we’ve gone through the whole mill of the business in the first place… It only works for us because of where we are [in terms of our popularity].

It seems unlikely that a similar exercise by an unknown new band would have made them any money or seen them bestride the charts; that’s the one area where record companies can still add some value.

But unless the industry starts thinking soon about radically different operating models (including – potentially – the end of The Album, always an artificial construct in any event), more and more music buyers will seek out the Accelerators of this world via digital distributions that yield nothing for the suits (no bad thing) but nothing for the bands (a less positive development).