Yesterday, someone who I think was trying to be nice to me called me “clubbable”.

The despicable bastard. Still, it’s one less Christmas card for me to sign this year…

Within the past 24 hours I have twice fallen victim to The Incompetence Of Human Resource ‘Professionals’ (sic), something that happens so often that I’m thinking of creating a new category of post just to accomodate it.

In the first instance, everything is apparently All My Fault because I am not psychic and/or clairvoyant. Clearly, I must’ve missed the lectures in law school where those skills were taught.

In the second instance, a Human Resources ‘Professional’ told me turn up today for “an informal, general careers interview” with a Commercial Director “at which you will have the opportunity to ask questions”.

It transpired that the Commercial Director in question was, until a few months ago, an IT outsourcing partner in a City law firm and he was intent on discussing the minutiae of IT outsourcing contracts. I might have done a wee bit of revision on the topic had I been told it might be necessary. As it was, I just sat there babbling and sweating.

I did, however, take the opportunity to ask a question of my interviewer: namely, “Shall I get my coat?”

Updated Phrases For The 21st Century:

Them as can, do.
Them as can’t, teach.
Them as can’t teach become Human Resources ‘Professionals’.