Sometimes in life you suffer moments of such toe-curling, ball-shrivelling, embarrassment, you never forget them. A few hours back I had one of these out-of-body experiences. They are just that because you look down at yourself fumbling and floundering like a fool. I was sitting at my desk in an office on the outskirts of a Northern Home Counties town minding my own business when out of nowhere an email arrived from a so-called friend. Now I would have continued minding my own business had that email not…

Oh, fuck it.  Nick“y” Fcuking Campbell, you are a pus-oozing, gangrenous cock and you deserve to end your days working in HR.