Girlfriend In A Coma
Is your partner lying dead or dying at the bottom of an embankment? Is your loved one suffering in enormous pain having been impaled by a refreshments trolley?
Well, don’t waste your time comforting them and fuck the feelings of their relatives: take a photo on your mobile and text it to the BBfuckingC for immediate broadcast as part of our sensationalist coverage on national television.
We’re the BBC and this is what we do.
On a positive note, at least Beardy Bastard Branson’s not going to get any sleep tonight.