The Ministry Of Truth

GEORGE SCHULZ!

I’m just catching up with myself.

I’m hoping to have got through the second presidential debate by polling day.

If you’re wondering how the Manuelgate controversy will end (and I suspect you’re as uninterested as me, except to wonder why such a desperately poor “comedian” as Russell Brand is in employment at all), a clue could be heard on this morning’s 7am BBC Radio 2 news bulletin.

The answerphone messages were described by a BBC newsreader as being “obscene”.

Broadcasts that are “obscene” are illegal.

Ergo, broadcasters making “obscene” broadcasters cannot be permitted to ply their trade on the BBC.

But I’ll lay odds that it’ll be Brand who pays with his job rather than Ross.  First, Brand does not present two primetime BBC One shows, isn’t one of the major forces behind Comic Relief, doesn’t win Gold Sony awards, and isn’t the planned successor to Sir Terence for things like Children In Need.  Second, Brand’s contract will be a lot cheaper to buy off.

Strange how a “23-year-old glamour model” (a member of a dance troupe called the Satanic Sluts, no less) and Max Clifford are central to the way things have played out, isn’t it…?

A final thought: politicians seeking to use this pathetic non-story for cheap column inches that are not connected to economic meltdowns and/or the ineptitude of their best mates are beneath contempt.

The current roll call of shame (from the ‘quality’ press only, as I can’t bring myself to look at the redtops):

Arrivederci Gordon (New Scum)
Posh Boy Dave (Scum)
Nadine Dorries (Scum)
David Hanson (New Scum)
John Whittingdale (Scum)
Andy Burnham (albeit half-heartedly) (New Scum)
Dennis Skinner (tangentially) (Old New Scum)
Philip Davies (Scum)
David Davies (Scum)
Paul Farrelly (New Scum)
Andrew Mackinlay (New Scum)
Nigel Evans (Scum)

Hard to believe that Gore lost with this absolute screaming nutjob as his wingman.

Asked again on Sunday whether Sarah Palin is ready to be president, Sen. Joe Lieberman went one step further than he has in past remarks — virtually pledging to voters that John McCain “will live to 85 at least.”

In an audio clip of the Tampa, Florida, event obtained by the Huffington Post, Lieberman acknowledged that he has spoken “to doctors and insurance actuaries” about McCain’s health, “because I get asked this question so much.”

“People say to me, oh jeez, he’s 72 and he’s got skin cancer,” Lieberman said, adding: “I can tell you he’s been in remission for eight years. Secondly, I talked — because I get asked this question so much — I talked to doctors and insurance actuaries. And they tell me based on McCain’s age, his health, including skin cancer, he’ll live till at least 85. And probably longer.”

Lieberman once again offered a prayer that Palin would not soon have to serve as commander in chief: “I believe that he’ll be able to serve through his first term for which he’s elected, please God.”

Next, Lieberman noted that the GOP nominee has a 96 year old mother, and proceeded to relate a story in which he said she looked great, and she asked Lieberman if he was “trying to pick [her] up.”

While talking with a reporter last week, Lieberman answered a similar question about Palin’s readiness to serve as commander in chief by saying “thank God she’s not going to have to be president from day one. McCain’s going to be alive and well.” Elsewhere in that interview, however, the Democrat-turned-independent said Palin could be ready to take over “if, God forbid, an accident occurs or something of that kind” struck McCain.

I know I know that last nuclear code, I just can’t recall it at the moment…

Michel Platini was a heroic player, both at club level with Nancy, St Etienne and Juventus, but in particular at international level where he was France’s talismanic midfielder throughout the 1980s, culminating of course in memorable French performances in Euro ‘84 and Mexico ‘86.

But to many of us who follow French football to some degree, there was a real sense that he went downhill pretty fast after that.  Firstly he seemed to have followed the course of so many other star French sportsmen, which is to open a bunch of restaurants and spend his life eating in them. He had a disastrous spell as manager of the French team, which coincided with that of Graham Taylor with England and had precisely the same level of success at Euro ‘92 and qualifying for USA ‘94.  Then finally as an expert studio pundit for Canal +, where his standoffishness, his arrogance (he only appeared alone with the anchor) and his clear boredom with the job (Lens v Sochaux anyone?) led to a standard of output which was about on a par with Glenn Hoddle, whom he resembles a little bit too closely in numerous other ways (though thankfully not on a superstitious level).

So we had a right to assume that upon his elevation to head of UEFA, we were going to get more of the same dross but with more ego to boot.

I have to say that much as I have found it hard to accept it and difficult to believe, from the beginning of Platini’s tenure, I have had a sneaking suspicion, which has gained in strength in the 18 months he has been on the job, that what he is doing is not only positive, fresh and bold, but also (with some misgivings) fundamentally right.

The main reason it has only been a sneaking suspicion (and one which I have found it difficult to voice) is that Platini has talked himself into being public enemy number one to English football.  He still has some work to do in shooting his mouth off and columnists as illustrious as the Observer’s Paul Wilson is referring to him as ‘increasingly barmy’.  Chief Executive of the Premier League Richard Scudamore can barely conceal his disdain for Platini’s views which he considers simplistic (and in many ways they are).  606 presenter Tim Lovejoy loathes him.

One thing’s for sure, there is a pattern to what Platini says that I find it difficult to contradict:

1) he believes that money is ruining the game, not helping it;

2) he thinks like a fan, not an administrator, but one who understands how football works behind the scenes;

3) he wants to act on racism in football, and

4) crucially, he doesn’t care about whether any of this makes him popular.

The reason for this post is that Andrew Hussey has written an article in the Observer today which I urge you to read as it picks up on the reality, rather than the soundbites alone.  In fact, you’re mostly better off ignoring the soundbites as apart from publicity, they rarely add anything.

Has Platini found his true calling?  And more to the point, can he actually achieve what he wants?

Seven years ago today……

1,000 songs!!!  5 Gigabytes!!!  10 hours’ battery life!!!

I’ve just come.

Youbetcha says that America nees “a little bit of reality from Wasilla, Main Street”.

Youbetcha says that - having been the mayor of Wasilla - she’s got more “executive experience” than any of the three other candidates on the Republican or Democratic tickets.

Youbetcha’s deluded:

This game’s fun!  I should play this game more often.

Some people criticise the Conservative Party for lacking ideological coherency - or, indeed, any ideology at all.

Some people suggest that the Conservatives will simply say whatever it takes to obtain and maintain power, regardless whether or not that leads them to take philosophically contradictory positions or make themselves look silly by promising one thing one day and something else the next.

Some people, you note.

But not The Minister.  That would be cheap politicking.

I’d much rather Conservatives speak for themselves.

Tuesday 3 October 2006
George Osborne’s first conference speech as Shadow Chancellor

To those who still want us to make upfront promises of tax cuts now we say: ‘We will not back down. We will not be pushed or pulled, we will stick to our principles. We will do what is right. I am not going to write my 2009 budget in 2006′.

Surely we must have learnt from three election defeats this simple truth: we must win the argument on the economy. We will never do that if people believe that our tax policy comes at the expense of their public services.

Monday 1 October 2007
George Osborne’s second conference speech as Shadow Chancellor

We are the low-tax party…  It is a mark of our seriousness about lower taxes that I will not promise unfunded, undeliverable tax giveaways to dress up a press conference in an autumn election campaign.  For this party, lower taxes aren’t just for Christmas.  They are for life.

We will take the family home out of inheritance tax…  In a Conservative Britain you will not be punished for working hard and saving hard…  The next Conservative government will raise the inheritance tax threshold to £1m.

Taken together our measures on stamp duty and inheritance tax represent the most important reform of capital taxes for a generation…  We will take 10 million people out of these taxes on aspiration.  We will simplify the tax affairs of millions.  For millions of people, today sounds the death knell for death taxes.

I will approach each budget seeking ways, consistent with sound public finances and economic stability, to reduce taxes on businesses and families striving for a better life.  That’s the real difference between this chancellor and the next one.  He is always looking for ways to put taxes up.  I will be looking for ways to bring taxes down.

Monday 29 September 2008
George Osborne’s third conference speech as Shadow Chancellor

It’s no good talking about the big up-front tax giveaways we might like to make, or the big spending increases it might be nice to have.  Because I repeat: there is no more money…

There are still some who think that Britain can borrow to pay for big unfunded tax cuts, let me just say this: I want to cut taxes too.  I want to put money back into the pockets of families and help businesses compete.  It is the aspiration and ambition of this Party that we leave office with taxes lower than when we came in…

The country may not be able to afford upfront tax cuts because borrowing is too high.

Where has this man been all my life?  He’s comedy gold: he even contradicts himself in the same speech!

He should be Palin’s running mate in 2012.