The Ministry Of Truth

So there’s good news and bad news.

The good news is that I’ve got a new job. Well, more accurately I’ve got a verbal offer of a new job. And while I’m going to sleep on the decision, it seems very likely that I’ll accept: 26% pay rise, promotion back to head of department and the daily return drive down from 75 to 12 miles. So the Minister’s Wife may not have to put out the red light for a little while yet.

The bad news is that the blog-related implications of the Hard Drive Meltdown have now properly sunk in. I have lost, I believe, seven draft SMIPs.

These SMIPs were designed to keep SMIP-related activity ticking over while I set up SublimeMomentsInPop.co.uk, a new, music-content-only site to run alongside the Ministry.

Unfortunately, the design of smip.co.uk needed quite a few SMIPs and some other content for launch and – you’ve guessed it – all the draft launch content has also gone digitally tits up.

I guess the new job means that I may be able to convince the Minister’s Wife to permit me to parcel up the main backup drive and send it to a data recovery extortionist. However, opting for the cheapest available option (£300+VAT) will take six weeks and there are no guarantees of any success. I’ve not currently got the heart to try to start recreating what’s been lost.

And I’m still very dissatisfied with the way the Ministry looks.

So I’ve got the blogging hump at the moment…

Meanwhile, the local news continues to feast on the corpses of the “five prostitutes” murdered by Steve Wright.

In fairness, Look East has almost always referred to the victims as “women”; it’s just the national BBC newsroom that seems to consider prostitutes as inhuman.

In an extended edition of Look East, it was left to one of the victims’ brothers to make the most pertinent comment on that point:

Miss Alderton’s brother, Tom, said: “They were all little girls and in desperate circumstances. It helps everyone to come to terms with it if they think ‘sex worker, drug addict’ but nobody’s anything 24 hours a day and most of the time, in these girls’ lives, they were neither of these things.”

I apologise, in a time when so much of importance is going on in the news, to write about something so utterly superficial as what you are about to read (or at least you might get half way through it) but my excuse is that I am on holiday (and I’m sticking to it).

In the space of one week, two seperate sporting incidents of a highly trivial nature have created a rather revealing (and some might argue disproportionate) amount of column inches.

Mindful of the fact that I am really only adding to the same by commentating on the commentators, it pricked my interest because of what it might reveal about the ‘national psyche’, but ultimately only tells us (as if we needed telling) how naff our national sporting media is.

9 days ago in Rome, the Newcastle utility back Toby Flood scored a try in the right corner in a 6 Nations test match between England and Italy which England went on narrowly to win.

2 days ago in Manchester the Portuguese winger Nani dribbled the ball back towards his goal and then turned and sought to clear it, in an FA Cup 5th round match between Manchester United and Arsenal which ended in a convincing victory for the home side (much though it pains me to say it).

What the two incidents had in common was that they both contained something which appears to cause a number of sporting aficionados and commentators a certain amount of distress – a flourish. Put another way, it was something elaborate, visual, skilful, amusing, original and, admittedly, almost entirely unnecessary. Both incidents qualified as what the French call ‘panache’ but what your third form cricket master might equally call ‘mucking about’.

For those that ‘didn’t see the incidents’, here they have been captured for posterity by some frivolous subversives who have no respect for sport or people’s fragile sensibilities:

( Flood try is at 4:31)

I’m not sure what is more bewildering, the fact that people object to random moments of individuality on the sports field, or the hypocrisy (perhaps in this lightweight context ‘double standards’ is more appropriate) with which these objections are made.

Players have ‘dived’ to score tries since Rugby first began – it is a form of premature celebration designed to stimulate one’s supporters and occasionally to make a point (in Flood’s case: “England are back, and we can score tries”) . The video linked to above also contains two Vincent Clerc dives and a James Hook dive, all perpetrated on the same weekend in the same tournament, but they all had the comparative merit of….well, not being as good, so escaped censure. Yet Flood’s club coach John Fletcher called the dive “unnecessary” in his programme notes for the next Newcastle club match against Saracens (a game Newcastle won thanks to another Flood try). The perplexing root of people’s objections to the ‘Flood-dive’ varies between “he could have injured himself” (get a life);”England only won by a handful of points, so he shouldn’t have been so cocky” (hindsight – England were cruising at the time he scored); “Rugby is a gentleman’s game and we can’t have silliness” (get a death), and “he should respect the opposition” (of which more later).

As for Nani, it wasn’t so long ago in the World Cup 2006 that Zinedine Zidane’s performance against Brazil in the quarter final was being cooed over by the BBC, despite containing a veritable encyclopaedia of almost wholly unnecessary footballing tricks. Similarly when England were thrashing Germany 5-1 in Munich in 2003, Steven Gerrard’s three-card humiliation of Liverpool clubmate Dietmar Hamann didn’t seem to cause anyone much of a problem. The great entertainers (Maradona, Gascoigne, Best, Zidane…er, Gerrard?) all enjoyed a flourish and were popular not just because they won matches, but because they did so with style. Maybe Nani isn’t a great player yet, but don’t people buy tickets to be entertained? And if we argue that he should confine his entertainment to the business of winning, aren’t we taking it all a bit too seriously? The objections to Nani all seem to emanate from an unwritten rule in football that ‘you don’t take the piss out of the opposition’ when you’ve beaten them. Why not? If you thrash a team out of sight, particularly a rival (the effect might have been somewhat less palatable if Man Utd had been 4-0 up against Havant and Waterlooville, I’ll grant you) what on earth is wrong with a bit of a dig, in a sporting context, to entertain the fans? I don’t suppose the Arsenal players were all thinking “never mind getting tonked out of the Cup 4-0, that juggling was really beyond the pale”. And I’m sure one of them would have done the same if the roles were reversed, and fair play. He’s letting his football skill do the talking, which is all we ever ask.

Are we such a humourless, straight-laced nation that voices rise to declaim panache in sport? No of course we’re not – we love it and we want more, please. Sure, don’t let it be more important than the game itself, or you’ll probably get dropped and forgotten about forever. But if you’re in the business of winning, please don’t be frightened of winning with style – it’s far better than gloating in words after the game: you can leave that to the fans.

7 February 2008:

The Football Association has given its provisional support to the plans. “We understand the reasons for this proposals and the benefits it can bring to English football as a whole,” said an FA source.

14 February 2008:

“Even if the FA did sanction it, all the national associations receiving these clubs would have to sanction it also. This will be very difficult. In addition to that, the Fifa executive committee will apply article two of the Fifa statutes: ‘to prevent all methods or practices which might jeopardise the integrity of matches or competitions or give rise to abuse of association football’. This is abuse. The rich Premier League is trying to get richer and wants to expand the importance of that league. This will never happen, at least as long as I am the president of Fifa.”

15 February 2008:

The Football Association has told Fifa it has serious reservations over the Premier League’s proposal to play additional top-flight games abroad. “We did speak to Fifa general secretary Jerome Valcke about this matter on Thursday. We explained that while we had received a verbal summary on the subject, at this time we aren’t in possession of any detailed proposals from the Premier League to pass on to Fifa. It was also made clear to Fifa that the Football Association has some serious reservations about the proposal.”

Cocksucking parasites. It’s like Bert Millichip never died.

Criticism of the Premier League’s farcical proposal to play competitive matches abroad continues apace:

It gives the impression that they just want to go on tour to make some money.  This is something I cannot understand.

I could not agree more with the words of one Joseph Blatter of Switzerland, reported by the BBC.  Well said, sir!  After all, what kind of cretin would seek to sully the reputation of football by way of greed and avarice?

The most powerful figure in world football has been accused of bribery, corruption and buying his way into the game’s top job.

Sepp Blatter, president of soccer’s world governing body, is fighting claims that he paid colleagues $50,000 each to ensure that he landed the post as head of Fifa last year…

Blatter has hit back by threatening worldwide legal action against his accuser, the British investigative author David Yallop, in a bid to suppress an explosive new book he has written about dirty-dealing within Fifa .

Yallop’s book, How They Stole The Game, contains deeply damaging claims about Blatter, his predecessor Joao Havelange, and other leading Fifa officials.

It investigates what happened to the billions of dollars which Fifa has earned during football’s global explosion in popularity since the 1950s and reveals details of secret bank accounts held by Fifa officials.

Oh.

At Blatter’s Press conference, German reporter Jens Wienreich asked him about allegations that his campaign had been funded from the Gulf and he replied: ‘The match is over. The players have already gone to the dressing-room, I will not respond.’

That evening Blatter went to Le Meridien Hotel where most rank-and-file delegates were staying, some at the expense of their national associations, others on the largesse of Havelange and his backers in the Gulf.

Blatter schmoozed through the lobby, shaking a hand here, clasping a shoulder there. Later that night, the mood changed when Issa Hayatou, president of African soccer, arrived, roused from his bed at the Hotel Bristol by a call telling him that bundles of cash were being handed out to delegates who had voted for Blatter.

Ah. 

Official Fifa business, always an opulent inter-continental affair, has spiralled to grotesque levels. The massively enlarged carbuncle of football bureaucrats, created by Blatter as a phalanx of kept support, have lived the high life. In addition to the five-star, business-class, black-Mercedes arrangements, all have been allowed a daily expenses rate of 500 euros, for which no receipts or accounts are required. Members of the executive committee were handed $50,000 honorariums. President Blatter’s salary and accounts remain, despite repeated requests, a matter of complete secrecy.

Er…

Senior officials from football’s world governing body, Fifa, have begun legal proceedings against their president Sepp Blatter.  The criminal investigation, which will start during the next 48 hours, follows allegations of financial mismanagement.

Mihir Bose: he gives it to you from a pretty straight kind of guy…

In Who’da Thunk It? news, Bryan “Midas Touch” Robson has been “relieved of first-team duties” (ie sidelined because he’s too expensive to sack) a whole nine months after becoming Sheffield United manager.

I hate to say I told you so but, er, I told you so.  (Terry Robinson’s expression last May was as accurate as it was grim after all.)

To update Robson’s managerial stats, Robson’s win percentage during his brief spell at Bramall Lane was just 28%.

He won but one of his final nine matches in charge and his team – a Premiership outfit until the week before he was appointed – lie in 16th place in the Championship, just seven points above the relegation zone.

Sad.  But no more than Kevin “It was harder to find anyone better than Bryan” McCabe deserves after making the most stupid managerial appointment of 2007.

Seumas Milne is a favourite writer of both the Minister and at least one regular Ministry visitor.

His column in today’s Guardian once again demonstrates why, even if his conclusion is splendidly naive.  “Listen to people who know what they’re talking about”?  When Mel Phillips and Richard Littlejohn both have columns in mass circulation national newspapers?  I mean, really.  Whatever will these bleeding hearts come up with next – courtesy, tolerance and respect?

A week after the Archbishop of Canterbury dared to float the idea that some role for Islamic arbitration could be recognised in British law, the anti-Muslim backlash grinds on. Never mind that Rowan Williams’s proposal was hedged with qualifications, that elements of sharia already have legal status, that he used the existing practice of orthodox Jewish courts as a model, and insisted such an accommodation could not override equal legal rights for all, notably women. The media and political reaction has been hysterical and ugly: from the Sun’s declaration that Williams had “handed al-Qaida a victory”, to the Express claim that he had “surrendered to fanatics”, to the endless replays of floggings in western-backed states like Saudi Arabia.

It was still going strong yesterday, as Daily Mail columnist Melanie Phillips insisted the archbishop had weakened Britain against the “Islamist enemy” and the Telegraph reported the Queen was “distressed”. As well she might be. What has been demonstrated in the past week, as Williams should have realised, is that serious debate about equal rights for Muslims or integration as a two-way process is becoming impossible in an atmosphere of growing Islamophobic intolerance. Hardly had the Williams furore kicked off than the minister Phil Woolas had triggered headlines about a “Muslim inbreeding row” with remarks about the health risks of cousin marriages among Pakistanis – a practice traditionally favoured by British monarchs.

It’s hardly surprising that in a climate in which denouncing “Islamists” has become the polite way to attack Muslims, and a literary figure such as Martin Amis can rant about the threat to Europe from the Muslim birthrate and still be treated with respect, public opinion has become inflamed. When politicians and newspapers denounce “preachers of hate”, it increasingly sounds as though they’re talking about themselves. Muslims, meanwhile, inevitably feel beleaguered and, far from spurring integration, the relentless attacks – fuelled by the need to justify war in the Muslim world – heighten alienation.

They also undermine efforts to prevent further atrocities in Britain. Last week, as the archbishop’s sharia storm raged, Gordon Brown banned the leading Islamic cleric Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi from the country. The pretext given was his support for Palestinian suicide attacks during the intifada. But the 81-year-old scholar has been to Britain several times since then – in fact he was encouraged to come by the government after the Iraq invasion because of his opposition to al-Qaida. The real reason for the ban, apart from the competition to appear tough on terror, is his links with the Muslim Brotherhood, the most influential Islamist organisation in the Arab world – but also a particular target for liberal hawks and neoconservatives. They have played a key role in convincing the government to end its engagement with mainstream Islamist groups and sponsor more pliant Muslim bodies.

One man who thinks that’s not just bad for community relations but actually a threat to Britain’s security, is Detective Inspector Bob Lambert, who retired six weeks ago as head of the Metropolitan police special branch’s Muslim Contact Unit. With more than a quarter century at the sharp end of counter-terrorism operations, Lambert is scarcely a bleeding-heart liberal. But he has been unable to speak out publicly until now and is deeply frustrated by the Qaradawi ban. “Qaradawi is clearly useful in countering al-Qaida propaganda”, Lambert told me this week. “He is held in high esteem: how can we think meaningfully about enlisting credible Muslim community support against al-Qaida if we’re not prepared to engage constructively with the likes of Qaradawi?”

The aim of the Muslim Contact Unit, set up in 2002, was to avoid the mistakes made during the IRA campaign of alienating the Irish community, and to work with credible Muslim figures to isolate and counter those prepared to support terror attacks. Lambert points as an example to the crucial role played by prominent Islamist activists, such as the British Muslim Initiative leader Azzam Tamimi, in taking back Finsbury Park mosque in 2005 from supporters of Abu Hamza, now awaiting extradition to the US on terrorism charges.

“The government approach is increasingly to lump all Islamist groups together”, the special branch veteran says. “But Islamists can be powerful allies in the fight against al-Qaida influence. Our experience shows they can be the levers that help get young people away from the most dangerous positions. Issues that are most troubling to people like the oppression of women and gays mustn’t be swept under the carpet, but they also shouldn’t be treated as a block on engagement.”

Lambert also highlights the importance of Islamic activists’ cooperation with the anti-war movement and radical MPs such as Jeremy Corbyn and George Galloway in offering Muslim youth a way to channel their political grievances into peaceful political action. This isn’t about “political correctness or deference to Islamist thinking,” he insists, “it’s a genuine issue of London’s safety”. Groups now promoted by the government, such as the Sufi Muslim Council, may have their role, but from the perspective of countering terrorism they have “neither religious nor political credibility. Let’s be clear who it is that can keep London safe in the runup to the Olympic games”.

Given such a challenge to official orthodoxy there has been opposition to the Muslim Contact Unit’s approach in both the police and government – and reportedly pressure for it to be wound down or disbanded. Its work has been singled out for attack by Dean Godson, research director of Policy Exchange, the Tory-linked thinktank whose recent research on extremist literature in British mosques was found to have been based on faked material. The unit has, Godson argued, been suffering from “ideological Stockholm syndrome”.

In fact, it clearly benefits from the common sense that comes from dealing with the reality of terror on the ground, rather than a blinkered denial of its link with western aggression in the Middle East and beyond. The best way to reduce the threat of attack at home is for Britain to end its disastrous interventions in the Muslim world – though to judge by the foreign secretary David Miliband’s new enthusiasm for liberal interventionism, that’s not going to happen soon. In the meantime, we need to listen to people who know what they’re talking about, like Bob Lambert.

Worst lyrics ever?  Orzabal’s an amateur.

Where do you even start…?

(Well, I start by congratulating your wife on squeezing out 7lbs 12oz of bouncing baby boy.  I don’t discount entirely the help you gave her, but in the overall scheme of things…)

I know you don’t want the obvious, but the obvious are obvious for the fact that they are truly dreadful:

I’m as serious as cancer
When I say rhythm is a dancer
(Snap – Rhythm Is A Dancer)

I don’t want to see a ghost -
It’s the sight that I fear most.
I’d rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news
(Des’Ree – Life)

New Romanticism was a real lyrical low point.

War is stoopid
And people stoopid
(Culture Club – The War Song)

Don’t say you’re easy on me:
You’re about as easy as a nuclear war
(Duran Duran – Is There Something I Should Know?)

She used to be a diplomat
But now she’s down the laundromat
(Spandau Ballet – Highly Strung)

99 Decision Street -
99 ministers meet
To worry, worry, super-scurry,
Call out the troops out in a hurry
(Nena – 99 Red Balloons)

Everybody have fun tonight:
Everybody Wang Chung tonight
(Wang Chung – Everybody Wang Chung Tonight)

Take your baby by the heel,
And do the next thing that you feel.
Take your baby by the hair,
And pull her closer – there, there, there.
Take your baby by the ears,
And play upon her darkest fears.
(Wang Chung – Dance Hall Days)

Early 80s popsters were clearly too obsessed with eyeliner to worry about the lyrics.

Spreading my wings a little…

It seems like everybody’s got a plan:
It’s kinda like Nashville with a tan
(Shawn Mullins – Lullaby)

Don’t waste your time
Because the doggone girl is mine
(Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney – The Girl Is Mine)

Hey, fat fellow, with the hair coloured yellow
(Lynyrd Skynyrd – Gimme Three Steps proves the pilot got it right)

Got a telegram:
Momma passed away
While making home made jam
(The Supremes – Living In Shame)

In the morning when he awoke
All I left him was a note.
I told him, ‘I am the flower, you are the seed:
We walked in the garden, we planted a tree.’
(Heart – All I Want To Do)

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us?
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home,
Back up to heaven all alone?
Nobody calling on the phone
‘Cept for the Pope, maybe, in Rome.
(Joan Osborne – One Of Us)

Everything ever committed to tape by Vanilla Ice:

Take heed
‘Cos I’m a lyrical poet
(Ice Ice Baby)

Er, no you’re really not, mate.

Or Craig David.

Or Howard Jones.

Don’t crack up.
Bend your brain.
See both sides.
Throw off your mental chains.
Woo-hoo-hoo.
(New Song)

Or Alanis Morissette (apart from Uninvited).  Actually, no – Uninvited‘s lyrics are atrocious, too…

The entire hypocritical lyric of John Lennon’s Imagine.

After the last time I criticised him, I daren’t even mention the serial lyrical crimes against humanity committed by Mick Jagger.

Shakira’s Wherever, Whenever takes some beating:

Lucky my breasts are small and humble
So you don’t confuse them with mountains

Ri-ight, luv.

On a similar theme, where would we be without everyone’s favourite pre-op transsexual, Fergie:

My humps, my humps,
My lovely lady lumps
(My Humps)

Mungo Jerry’s In The Summertime includes not only an invitation to drink and drive but also:

If her Daddy’s rich, take her out for a meal:
If her Daddy’s poor, just do what you feel

Nice: indecently assaulting the poverty-stricken is always a winner in my book.

Sadly, two songs in my all-time top ten probably have to be mentioned.

Losing My Religion is a wonderful record but

Oh, life
Is bigger,
Bigger than you
And you are not me

is no way to start a song.

(Nor, incidentally, is:

Your butt is mine

particularly if you are Michael Jackson.  He’s Bad, alright…)

And, much as it pains me to admit it, one of my all-time favourite Beatles songs contains one of the worst lyrics of all time:

I look at the floor
And I see it needs sweeping:
Still my guitar gently weeps
(While My Guitar Gently Weeps)

Hmm.  Like totally karmic, George.

Eric Idle has cut all jokes about Britney Spears from his ecologically sound musical, Spamalot, because he doesn’t consider them funny any more. These are laudable sentiments.

The media is especially cruel to famous women who fall off their perch, devouring their descent with grisly relish. There is no excuse for the horrific treatment meted out to, among others, Heather Mills McThumbs-Up. You may have been invited to take sides in a divorce, but how low would you have to sink as a journalist if the magnate on your shoulder requires you to support the strong and ridicule the weak?

But that’s a digression. I wondered if we could start a campaign to encourage Eric Idle to realise that, as much of his other work isn’t funny either, he should consider withdrawing it too. Would the world miss Ben Elton saying how much The Rutles had informed his subsequent career as a novelist/playwright?

Also, while I was helping my wife to give birth the other day (she missed with most of her shots), my mind rumbled across what may be the most awful song lyrics couplet of all time.

It’s taken – ominously – from the Tears for Fears song “Sowing the Seeds of Love”, and appears to be a serious attempt at late-80s sociopolitical comment, by way of the lamest assault on That Bloody Woman … ever! And here it is:

“Politician grannie with your high ideals / Have you no idea how the majority feels?”

There’s no real point to me posting this, as such. I’m not angling for others to reply with their offerings, though that would be nice if it isn’t the usual list (and knowing the regular contributors here, it won’t be). It’s just been in my head, and I needed to put it somewhere.

FOR.  THE.  LOVE.  OF.  GOD.

The English Premier League is considering the idea of staging some matches around the rest of the world.

At a meeting in London on Thursday, all 20 clubs agreed to explore a proposal to extend the season to 39 games.

Those 10 extra games would be played at five different venues, with cities bidding for the right to stage them.

It is understood the additional fixtures could be determined by a draw but that the top-five teams could be seeded to avoid playing each other.

Premier League chief executive Richard Scudamore told BBC Sport: “I think it’s an idea whose time has come. It’s an exciting prospect…  You can’t stand still and if we don’t do this then somebody else is going to do it.”

A final decision on the proposals will not be made until January 2009.

The main aspects of the plans are:

• An additional round of Premier League fixtures, extending the season to 39 games, from January 2011
• Four clubs to travel to one of five host cities, with two games taking place in each venue over a weekend
• Cities would bid for the right to become a host, not for individual matches
• Points earned from the games would count towards the final Premier League table

Scudamore added that “there is much more detail to follow which we will work on over the next 12 months”.

Cities in Asia, Middle East and North America are likely to show a strong interest in hosting the extra games.

BBC sports editor Mihir Bose says the Premier League’s decision to explore such a move is a “logical” one.  “Some fans may feel aggrieved, but their concerns will be outweighed in the eyes of the clubs by the financial advantages.  The clubs will see this as a chance to make more money.”

RICHARD SCUDAMORE IS A CHANCER CUNT.

THE ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE IS A COLLECTIVE CUNT.

MIHIR BOSE IS A RISIBLE CUNT, WHO IS ACTUALLY GETTING WORSE THE LONGER HE IS THE BBC’S SPORTS EDITOR.  (Remember Robin Oakley?  He’s even worse than that.)

THE MINISTER IS A LITTLE OFF-COLOUR BUT IS STILL ANGRY ENOUGH TO BE SHOUTING.

Birmingham co-owner David Gold says the Premier League should be praised for its proposal:

We are making history.  The Premier League, which is the greatest league the world has ever known, is being adventurous.  It is looking forward and is looking to take an English brand global. The idea is very worthy of consideration. I find this amazingly exciting.

DAVID GOLD IS A CUNT WHO SELLS DILDOS AND COCK RINGS.

Tottenham Hotspur chief executive Daniel Levy spent this evening talking to Radio 5 Barely Alive about “soccer”:

We do have lots of overseas fans that are unable to come to matches played in the UK so I think it is something that should be explored.

DANIEL LEVY IS A CUNTY CUNT.

One “club source” told PA Sport:

The Premier League is a global game now. This would increase everyone’s income.

CLUB SOURCES ARE ANONYMOUS, GREEDY CUNTS.

The Estimable Sean Ingle comments:

The immediate reaction of most UK football supporters to these proposals will be outright horror. The flaws are certainly legion. Is it fair that one team will face Manchester United three times, while others play them only twice? Is it right that the top five sides may be seeded to avoid meeting each other? And is it ever right that all the sorrow and suffering, glory and pain of a league season could be affected by the whims of a spinning tombola at Premier League HQ?

The clubs are said to be “enthusiastic” about these proposals. You bet they are. As their squads romp and roast their way around Rio de Janeiro or Beijing or whichever city gets the right to host a Premier League match, they will be coining in cash from TV, advertising and sponsorship, as well as jet-boosting their brand further into the stratosphere.

Gareth Southgate said:

Is it April 1?

FUCKSAKE.

If ever you wanted proof that the New Liberal Democrats are Tories by another name, here it is.

I can’t help think that Victoria Helyar-Cardwell has missed my point a little.

(For reference, Clegg had been on Today arguing aimlessly with Naughtie about whether or not his party would vote to “support” the Tories and “defeat” Labour in a Commons vote on a referendum over the recent EU Treaty.)

From: [The Minister]
Sent: 22 January 2008 21:24
To: CLEGG, Nick
Subject: Today programme

Dear Mr. Clegg,

Writing as a Lib Dem-inclined floating voter whose vote helped Stephen Williams win Bristol West in 2005, I was a little disappointed by your comments on the Today programme this morning.

Instead of being just another politician engaging in another pointless game of semantics with another puffed-up BBC presenter, it would have been refreshing to have heard you say, “Liberal Democrats don’t vote in Parliament to ‘support’ or ‘defeat’ either of the other parties.  Liberal Democrat MPs vote in accordance with what they believe to be in the best interests of the United Kingdom.”

Yours sincerely,

[The Minister]

from    Libdemleader <LIBDEMLEADER@parliament.uk>
to    [The Minister]
date    Feb 7, 2008 3:14 PM
subject    RE: Today programme

Dear [Minister],

Many thanks for your email.  Nick has asked me to reply to you on his behalf.

Nick and the Liberal Democrat do vote according to what they believe is in the best interests of the people in the UK who they represent.

We have a record of being credible and honest on issues which are unpopular and difficult for the other parties to deal – tax, immigration, civil liberties, the environment and Iraq war as examples of such matters.

Thanks again for your comments.

All best wishes,
Victoria Helyar-Cardwell
Correspondence Manager
Office of the Leader of the Liberal Democrats