The Ministry Of Truth

It never feels entirely comfortable when I find myself in agreement with the Archbishop of Canterbury but Rowan Williams has given an interview to the Telegraph (proud new owners of the title Worst Newspaper Website) in which he lobs a grenade at Simon Cowell’s perfectly pedicured, Gucci-clad feet.

“There is a gladiatorial streak in the entertainment business now where increasingly humiliation is the way forward. That worries me, there is a kind of sadism that can’t be good for us. It is the building-up and the pulling-down of contestants, it is pushing people into situations where they expose their vulnerability, encouraging a culture of shamelessness.”

(Talking of which, why did anybody think the pairing of Jim Davidson with Brian Dowling on Hell’s Kitchen would result in anything other than the national broadcasting of homophobia?  Even television executives can’t really be that stupidly coke-addled, can they?  Oh, hang on – I get it.  My mistake.  Of course they knew what would happen.  And that it would get ITV in the papers.  And more people would watch.  And they could sell the ad spots at a 10% premium.  Forget it: it was just me being a bit dopey.)

This is a regular theme on this site but it bears repeated airings.  I loathe shows such as The Strictly Idol Ant & Dec Factor but surely they are merely the apogee of us having been spending most our lives living in Mags Thatcher’s paradise?

In the immortal words of Meat Loaf and John Parr, “Money is power; power is fame.”

If we are, indeed, all Thatcherites now (and anyone daring to say that to my face needs to be prepared to spend at least three hours in Accident & Emergency) surely this is just the transfer of neo-liberal theory to television entertainment?

Neo-liberalism would have it that we’re allowed to belittle the, er, little people; we’re allowed to step over the homeless on our way to the theatre; we’re allowed to use other people’s pain for our entertainment because the theory of perfectly competitive markets makes it inevitable and unarguable that our wealth, our happiness, our talent, our wisdom will eventually trickle down to them.  It might, of course, take a few centuries for the trickle down effect to work fully but, hey, Darwinism (for the record, evolution – the survival of the fittest – is only incompatible with evangelical Christianity when neo-liberals need it to be).

Your average neo-liberal couldn’t spot perfect competition if it slapped them across the face (c/f the way in which our government implemented privatisation through the 80s and 90s) because they are profiteering, short-termist cunts, but don’t let small problems like that get in the way, eh?

Ian Brown has given a splendid interview in today’s Guardian:

“My kids laugh at me when I tell them about life when I was 14. They say “Go on dad, tell us again”. There was no Walkmans, videos, Nintendo or Xboxes, no internet, no mobiles. No computers. No DVDs. There were only three TV channels. They cry laughing. But it made us hungry and thoughtful. And we had great things like the Sex Pistols.

We’re breeding a generation who won’t invent anything. They’ve got everything. They’re stimulated all day and they’re never bored. I think there should be an hour of total boredom every day for all kids.”

Meanwhile, a coroner calls for the banning of internet chatrooms (again).  While you’re at it, mate, close down all websites apart from that of the Daily Mail – just so you can still tell everyone how it feels to be wearing your breeches after you’ve finished pissing in the wind.