How celebrity works, part 1307839.

Local commercial radio DJ Dale Winton becomes “famous” for presenting Supermarket Sweep on daytime ITV and being unnaturally orange.

Dale Winton goes on to prime time BBC1 and Radio 2 presentation for a few years until people briefly emerge from their collective coma to realise that Pets Win Prizes is, actually, pretty fucking shite and that he’s not doing anything that Larry Grayson did (and better) three decades ago.

So, in order to keep paying the bills, Dale Winton goes back to presenting Supermarket Sweep on daytime ITV.

And – judging by the trailer I’ve just seen – it’s actually going to be Celebrity Supermarket Sweep with such contestants as full-time celebrity show participants Vanessa Feltz and Vic Reeves (formerly a comedian, I believe).

If I weren’t currently euphoric from the fact that my redundancy pay has today hit my bank account, I’d slash my fucking wrists.