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April 2012 (2)
Detailed Monthly Archive

26: Move the fuckers to Salford (0)
04: How The Guardian loses millions of pounds every year under Alan Rusbridger (0)

March 2012 (1)
Detailed Monthly Archive

19: No-one likes him: he don’t care (0)

February 2012 (1)
Detailed Monthly Archive

13: It’s Not Right But It’s Okay (In A Chancer’s Paradise) (0)

September 2011 (3)
Detailed Monthly Archive

August 2011 (12)
Detailed Monthly Archive

28: “Don’t go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs.” (0)
20: “I trust that this serious lesson will operate as a warning to all future ministers, and that they will henceforth do the thing that is right, for if the upper ranks of society are permitted to act wrong with impunity, the inferior ramifications will soon become wholly corrupted.” (0)
19: Always remember to never forget (0)
18: “Fair play is one traditional British value we have always admired. And one we fear is increasingly at risk.” (0)
09: A slowly growing sense of hopelessness and impending doom (0)
09: You decide if you think he has a point… (0)
06: “Your great, great uncle Ernie died at 25. He lost his mind because he was going bald. He was a very vain man.” (0)
06: Arf, arf, honk. (0)
05: Dupe process (0)
04: I may have found someone who loathes Google even more than I loathe Google (0)
02: An open letter to Iain McNicol, General Secretary Designate of Chauncey Gardiner’s Labour Party (0)
01: Sexy People – Albert, 1983 (0)

July 2011 (10)
Detailed Monthly Archive

28: “There are many cures for a broken heart. But nothing quite like a trout’s leap in the moonlight.” (0)
27: How to call out Gideon without using the word ‘cunt’ (0)
23: I was seriously thinking about hiding the receiver (0)
22: Russia in colour, a century ago (0)
20: We’re all in this together (0)
20: Ministerial apology (0)
17: Vaz deference (0)
08: This is the end of the world news, sponsored by God (0)
01: By George, I think she’s got it! (0)
01: “I like to watch” (0)

June 2011 (9)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: Did the countenance divine shine forth upon our clouded hills? (0)
23: Killer (0)
23: We will all be waiting when the bulldozers come (0)
14: Flaccidity (0)
08: Every serif helps (0)
08: When you’re feeling down and your resistance is low, light another cigarette and let yourself go (0)
07: Fontasia (0)
05: It was Sunday – what a black day (0)
05: 30 Things The Minister Did On His Sabbatical (0)

February 2010 (6)
Detailed Monthly Archive

January 2010 (11)
Detailed Monthly Archive

26: Arrest Blair (0)
21: Down with chins (0)
19: Policy? Did someone say policy? (0)
19: Nerina Pallot & Theoretical Girl – Life On Mars (0)
14: Sleepwalking to disaster (0)
10: You’ve got me never knowing if I’m coming or going (0)
07: Upton, Waring, Collier, Stuart-Clark, Bingham (0)
06: Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods? (0)
05: Jumping frog… (0)
04: The Only Way Is Up (0)
03: Things The Minister Has Learned In 2010 (Part 1) (0)

December 2009 (28)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: Oli, Oli, Oli: oi, oi, oi (0)
29: The Dance Of The Cuckoos (0)
28: The 100 Best Movies Of The Decade (1)
27: Richard Bacon: This much I know (0)
26: Black leather leder chest harness MEDIUM gay int on eBay (0)
25: The Top 52 Singles of the Decade (Part 2: #20 to #1) (0)
22: Erase>Rewind (0)
22: Santaclaustraphobia (0)
20: Still so young to travel so far (0)
20: Get thee behind me, Satan… (0)
18: Paint Your Wogan (0)
17: Comfort And Joy (0)
17: Mistletoe And Whine (0)
17: If I hadn’t seen such riches I could live with being poor (0)
17: Popbitch (0)
17: I did that (0)
15: Vladimir and Oestrogen (0)
15: This working life (0)
14: Fruit & Nut (0)
12: SEXY PEOPLE: Howard Family (0)
11: Kirsty MacColl’s mother ends campaign for justice after nine years (0)
11: South of Fort Point (0)
11: Going back to my roots (0)
07: Better, better, BETTER?, AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (0)
06: Ministerial grizzle (0)
06: Why can’t we be ourselves like we were yesterday? (0)
05: The Top 52 Singles of the Decade (Part 1: #50= to #21) (0)
05: Buy the sky and sell the sky (0)

November 2009 (22)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: What’s he done? WHAT’S HE DONE?! (0)
30: Happy Monday (0)
30: The Mental Health Act 1973 (as amended) (0)
29: Some will win, some will lose (0)
28: Tactical Nuclear Penguin (0)
27: Anyone can see (0)
27: Kids say the funniest things (0)
26: Lord Reith: “rumours about my death are entirely accurate” (0)
26: It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day. (0)
25: PhotoshopDisasters: Swedish Taxi (0)
22: Dilbert (0)
21: You’ll cry and cry and try to sleep/ But sleep won’t come the whole night through (1)
20: All politics, all the time (0)
18: Bliss (0)
18: Here’s American Gladiators. Watch this; shut up; go back to bed, America. (0)
18: Blow (0)
18: Happiest day of her life… (0)
17: Projected through five flaming hoops to wild and shocked applause (0)
17: Nice (0)
17: WikiReader (0)
16: Multimedia extravaganza (0)
15: Did you hang my picture on your wall? (2)

October 2009 (35)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell… (0)
29: Honk, honk (0)
29: They’ve been spending most their lives living in a chancer’s paradise (0)
29: Disco as chillout (0)
29: SEXY PEOPLE: Mark (0)
26: The wisdom of crowds (2)
24: Hard to believe circulation figures are falling across the board, isn’t it? (0)
24: I hate you, Arnie Becker (0)
23: Cassetteboy vs Nick Griffin vs Question Time (0)
23: Wild kind of look to the day (0)
23: Rage Against The Machine (0)
23: Of all the New Labour toadies, Jack Straw must be the worst (0)
22: …and the other is the leader of the British National Party (0)
22: If you’ve Merk’d me, does that make you a merkin? (0)
22: Look At Your Hands (0)
21: SEXY PEOPLE: Laurence (0)
21: Film School Rejects Exclusive: We Shoot the Sh*t with Kevin Smith (0)
21: Pass The Port: a study of greed and gluttony in the 21st century and an abject lack of self-awareness (0)
18: SMIC #8: ‘Les Marionnettes’, from Les Quatre Cent Coups (François Truffaut, 1959) (0)
17: This one goes out to my cardiologist (0)
14: You had better do as you are told: you’d better listen to the radio (1)
13: Close but no cigar (2)
11: An empty bench in Soho Square (0)
08: Nice not to see you… (0)
07: Oh, reckless abandon. Like no one’s watching you… (0)
07: Even if you cannot hear my voice I’ll be right beside you, dear (0)
05: They fuck you up, your mum and dad (1)
05: ‘The Golden Age of Video’ by Ricardo Autobahn (0)
05: How To Lose Friends And Alienate People (0)
05: Arsehole In The Wall (1)
04: KevinSmith (ThatKevinSmith) on Twitter (0)
03: Why it’s so hard to put sex in the dictionary – Jesse Sheidlower – Slate Magazine (0)
02: Paint a perfect picture (0)
02: And now it’s only fair that I should let you know what you should know (0)
01: Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces (0)

September 2009 (31)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: Isn’t it good? (0)
29: It’s your story, your voice, your choices, and I don’t want to question them, but… (2)
29: SWs to you (0)
27: Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here (0)
26: You Raise Me Up (1)
25: Jules: this one’s for you (1)
24: The video was directed by Nigel Dick (0)
24: Behind The Scenes At The Spurs Show (0)
23: “Gof” “Uck” “Yourself” (0)
23: Six sevens (0)
22: I told you about the fool on the hill (0)
19: What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted? (0)
18: Stay classy (0)
17: Charlie Says… (1)
15: Harry Potter And The Stench Of The Guardian’s Rotting Corpse (1)
15: Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream (0)
15: Is it any wonder you are too cool to fool? (0)
14: Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) (0)
14: Hand in hand (0)
13: I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless (0)
11: Leave your make-up on and I’ll leave on the light (0)
10: Basement Songs: The Beatles, Rubber Soul (remastered) (0)
10: Goo goo goo joob (0)
09: Monomania (0)
09: I Want To Tell You (0)
09: You say you want a revolution? (0)
06: The Tao Of Ty Webb (0)
06: Ministerial failings (0)
04: Ah, look at all the lonely people… (0)
02: Word Up (0)
01: The 50 Best Singles Of The Nineties (Part 2: #20-#1) (0)

August 2009 (3)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: The 50 Best Singles Of The Nineties (Part 1: #50-#21) (0)
29: How The Minister Got His Groove Back (0)
27: Isn’t it a nobby one? And what a proper style. (0)

July 2009 (3)
Detailed Monthly Archive

June 2009 (39)
Detailed Monthly Archive

27: Perfect Pop Single #1: Billie Jean by Michael Jackson (4)
25: Michael Jackson, RIP (0)
14: (There’s) Always Something There To Remind Me (1)
12: You might have succeeded in changing me (0)
12: Rubbisherwatch 5 (0)
11: It’s me or Iggy Pop – time to decide (0)
11: This is the life of illusion: wrapped up in trouble, laced with confusion (0)
11: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (0)
10: They’re laughing at you, not with you (0)
10: Consider this the hint of the century (0)
10: Mr. Beavis, meet Mr. Butthead (0)
09: …or are you just pleased to see me? (0)
09: The yolk’s on him – geddit?! (1)
09: Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti (0)
09: Rubbisherwatch 4 (0)
08: ROTFLMAO (0)
08: I’m so very, very ‘umble (0)
08: I use the word ‘cunt’ a lot but… (0)
08: These are crazy days but they make me shine (0)
08: Half A Shilling (0)
07: The man on the wireless cries again, “It’s over, it’s over!” (0)
07: Thunderbolt and lightning: very, very frightening (0)
06: He leadeth me the quiet waters by (0)
05: If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me? (0)
05: Big Yellow Taxi (0)
05: We’ve Only Just Begun (0)
04: Dancing With Tears In My Eyes (2)
04: For my nineteenth birthday I got a union card and a wedding coat (0)
04: You’re standing on my neck (0)
04: Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto: you’re beautiful! (0)
04: Rubbisherwatch 3 (0)
04: All his friends will smile as he waves to greet them (0)
04: I remember every single thing (0)
03: What’s The New, Mary Jane? (0)
03: Rubbisherwatch 2 (0)
02: Harry Potter And The Rediscovery Of Cojones (0)
02: Please remember my life is in your hands (0)
02: Vaz entertainment (0)
01: Vote Dave, get Jabba (0)

May 2009 (46)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: I don’t care if we spend the night at your mansion (0)
31: Rubbisherwatch 1 (0)
30: Have You Ever Had It Blue? (0)
30: If this is your favourite song, turn your radio on (0)
29: I was born in Hackney. When you’re born in Hackney and you do well in life, you move to Chigwell (0)
28: Everybody knows a bloke called Dave (0)
27: Harry Potter and the Final Straw (0)
26: Swimsuit parade (2)
26: There’s a strange reaction: can you feel it, too? (0)
24: Refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach (0)
23: Do you like to boogie woogie? (0)
23: Proctorology (0)
23: Carry On Nurse (0)
22: Do They Mean Us? (0)
22: I’ve tried to see your point of view but could not hear or see for jealousy (0)
21: Trying to make some sense of it all, but I can see that it makes no sense at all (0)
21: The cost so high, the gain so low (0)
20: Mmm, glufosinate…. (0)
20: Greater love hath no man than this (0)
20: This May, Or May Not, Be It (0)
20: Jenn[ie] Was A Friend Of Mine (0)
19: Bell end (0)
19: Wolf Blitzer and me (1)
19: Silent W (0)
18: You Are My Favourite (0)
18: Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) (0)
17: Everything Is Average Nowadays (0)
15: Bit of a cock up on the old democracy front (0)
14: That was fuckin’ trippy… (0)
13: The Mummy Returns (0)
13: This town is coming like a ghost town (0)
12: This Little Bird (0)
11: Immune to your consultations (0)
11: More residuals for Wogan (0)
11: Out here in the fields I fight for my meals (0)
10: Prime Minister Gordon Brown finds himself in a tricky position (0)
10: You won’t be seeing rainbows anymore (0)
10: A black fly in your Chardonnay (0)
09: I’m being taken over by the fear (0)
09: Can you smell what it is yet? (0)
09: Pop Tart (0)
07: The sun went down and the night began (0)
06: Me and me mum and me dad and me gran (0)
06: It’s so sa-a-a-ad that you’re leaving (0)
04: 30 years of hurt never stopped me dreaming… (0)
04: Get out. Meet people. (0)

April 2009 (22)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: Ray Von (0)
29: Fascinating creatures (0)
28: Now my stomach is sick (0)
28: If ever there was a time to emigrate… (0)
27: What’choo talkin’ ’bout, Dave? (0)
27: Through early morning fog I see visions of the things to be (0)
27: We’ve got some half-price cracked ice and miles and miles of carpet tiles (0)
24: Now I know there’s no way I can right those wrongs (0)
22: I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself (0)
22: Slowly and surely your senses will cease to resist (0)
22: 304 Holloway Road (1)
21: Now go and apologise to God (0)
21: Anger is an energy (0)
17: Gordon, Gordon, you bastard, I’m through (0)
15: Beware the savage claw (0)
13: Get back to where you once belonged (0)
08: Straight Outta Compton; side one, track two (0)
07: I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain (0)
02: Members: sniff your Sharpies (0)
02: A Fish Called Selma (0)
02: I want you, I want you, I want you (0)
01: A policeman knew my name/ He said “You can go sleep at home tonight if you can get up and walk away” (1)

March 2009 (17)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: And if you’re wondering what this song is leading to… (0)
31: Hedonism (Just Because You Feel Good) (0)
30: Man admits to not knowing price of pint of milk (0)
27: Let’s Hear It For The Boy (0)
27: You’re a star in the face of the sky (0)
27: Let me show you the queens, the dudes, the class, the crudes, the folks that inhabit the night… (0)
23: Clowns to the left of me; jokers to the right (0)
19: Keep Calm And Carry On (1)
18: You can lead a Minister to fruity, juicy goodness… (0)
17: 21st Century Paxo (0)
13: The happiest sound of them all (1)
12: “It is our duty to look after ourselves” (1)
10: Twat of the Day Redux (0)
09: I hope I don’t die too soon/I pray the Lord my soul to save (0)
09: Twat of the Day (0)
07: Things The Minister Learnt On His Holiday (0)
02: I’d Buy That for a Dollar! (1)

February 2009 (19)
Detailed Monthly Archive

26: The Minister’s difficult first album (0)
25: I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees (2)
22: I can’t hide the tears but I don’t care (0)
20: I have to tell you just how I feel: I won’t share you with another boy (0)
20: That’s how the light gets in (0)
18: Minister watches Brits; becomes his father (0)
18: Born To Hand Jive (0)
18: Maybe we’ll turn back the hands of time (0)
17: “For long as I’ve seen him, he’s always given the impression of being a slimy invertebrate” (0)
17: If you change your mind, I’m the first in line (0)
16: Lemon, “Rich 50″ is “Middle Class 38″, OK? (0)
16: Born Under Punches (0)
12: Go and tell it to the man who lives in Hell (1)
10: You make the knife feel good (3)
10: Harry Potter and the Lunatic Asylum Management Buy-Out (0)
05: Tags: fuckwits, snow (0)
04: The $1,000,000,000,000 Question (0)
04: Spolier alert (1)
03: Where do you go AFTER you’ve dumbed down? (0)

January 2009 (21)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: They made it happen all right… (0)
30: “Nice to have something for free in this country at the moment, isn’t it?” (1)
27: Evolution did not end with us growing thumbs – you do know that, right? (0)
27: Yo, homes: smell you later (2)
27: I’m here to help you leisure, give you pleasure… (0)
26: And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (1)
25: What the fuck do they put in the coffee in Seattle? (1)
23: The sound of one hand clapping (0)
22: When you see a crowd I see a flock (0)
21: Curate’s Egg (0)
20: Bring me your tired, your poor, your sick and injured (0)
20: Auntie’s Bloomers (0)
19: Right Said Fred (0)
19: The Best Things In Life Are Free (0)
13: Are you still there, Tree People? (0)
12: If you feel like giving me a lifetime of devotion… (1)
12: De-Press To Play (0)
09: I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours, but… (1)
07: Thought For The Day (0)
06: The Day Today (0)
01: Neunundneunzig jahre krieg (0)

December 2008 (21)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: Please don’t throw me in the briar patch (1)
30: Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head (0)
28: No Irish (except Wogan), No Blacks, No Dogs (1)
24: SMIP #12: Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles (1)
22: I did my best; it wasn’t much (5)
21: SMIC #7: ‘Fire and Water’, from Zerkalo (Andrei Tarkovsky, 1974) (2)
21: Colophonics of the Redesign (1)
18: Free Deirdre Rashid (0)
18: No, no, no: listen to ME (0)
18: Balls the size of water melons (0)
17: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town (0)
17: I went down to the crossroad, fell down on my knees (1)
13: Jingle Bells (0)
10: It’s the economy, stupid (Part 3) (0)
09: It’s the economy, stupid (Part 2) (0)
09: It’s the economy, stupid (Part 1) (0)
07: SMIP #11: Brother Love’s Travelling Salvation Show by Neil Diamond (0)
06: Harry Potter And The Futility Of Parting With 80p Daily (And £1.60 On Saturdays) (1)
04: No. No. A thousand times no. (0)
03: Harry Potter And The Onset Of Self-Doubt (1)
02: Album Of The Year (0)

November 2008 (27)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: Rah, rah, rah! We’re going to smash the oiks! (0)
28: It was 20 years ago today Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play (1)
27: SMIP #10: She’s A Mystery To Me by Roy Orbison (3)
27: Thanksgiving turkey (0)
27: Can we have more Lovejoy, too? (0)
27: After changes upon changes we are more or less the same (0)
26: Who Are You? (0)
25: D (0)
25: Popdose’s 100 favourite singles of the last 50 years (0)
24: Planet Earth is blue (2)
24: Red Light Spells Danger (0)
24: Out, damned spot (0)
21: Insert your own ‘gobble’ joke here (1)
20: Maybe it was better left unsaid (0)
20: Exhuming McCarthy (3)
19: It’s a sad, sad situation and it’s getting more and more absurd (0)
18: The Times they are a-changin’ (0)
18: Lies, damned lies and statistics (1)
16: Creativity Killed The Cat (0)
15: I, I’m a one-way motorway (1)
10: Spamalot (0)
07: Tastes just like cherry cola (1)
07: Oops…nearly forgot… (0)
05: They Call Me MISTER President! (1)
02: Between Barack and a hard place (1)
02: Joe Le Taxi (0)
02: I can take the despair: it’s the hope I can’t stand (0)

October 2008 (41)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: Where have you gone, Joe De Plu-u-mber? (0)
30: Tomorrow Belongs To Me (0)
29: Lean On Me (0)
29: I’ll be Bing Crosby to your David Bowie (0)
28: The 24th distinct bi-prime (0)
27: As safe as the Bank of England (0)
26: Beaucoup de blanc, tres peu de jaune (0)
23: Is that a pistol in your pocket…? (0)
23: There’s a moose loose (0)
22: Jesus Harold Christ… (1)
22: Don’t tell me that you think it’s green: me, I know it’s red (1)
20: U-S-A! U-S-A! (0)
19: What the world needs now is love, sweet love (0)
18: Bikini-clad girl on the front who invited you in (0)
18: A small drop of hope… (0)
17: Loving You Has Made My Life Sweeter Than Ever (0)
16: Excuse ME?! (0)
16: I denounce and condemn, sir, your paralinguistic adroitness (1)
16: Over and out (1)
15: Twiddley-dee, twiddley-dum: look out baby, ’cause here I come (0)
15: Blame It On The Boogie (0)
14: So close and yet so far away – just a mirage (0)
12: Palin to insignificance (0)
11: Now THAT’S more like it… (1)
10: Never Miss A Beat (0)
10: 75 not out (0)
10: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes (0)
09: Actuarially speaking, there’s a one-in-three chance this is the next-but-one President of the United States of America (0)
09: No-one likes her; we don’t care (0)
09: I’ll be gone in a day or two (0)
08: How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? (1)
07: It’s like deja vu all over again (0)
07: Won’t it be strange when we’re all fully grown? (0)
06: This one time, at Band Camp… (0)
05: Nasty, narcissistic, fat racist (0)
04: Say goodnight, Gracie (0)
03: The Cabinet Reshuffle (0)
03: I feel the need… the need for speed (0)
02: Hmm… well… let’s see… (1)
02: LIPSTICK! (0)
01: Just another afternoon to get drunk and disappear (0)

September 2008 (24)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: Let’s go some place like Bolivia (1)
29: You cheat and you lie – it makes me wanna cry (0)
29: (adj.) worn out; exhausted; used up (0)
28: King Bono of Ireland (0)
28: I’d rather spend my time not wishing you with me rather than wish you dead (0)
26: “I don’t know… you know?” (1)
26: Where Have All The Cowboys Gone? (0)
22: Blue Monday (0)
21: When you’re down and out, when you’re on the street… (0)
19: You could never run this country, buddy, I’ll tell you that much… (0)
19: Now I’ve swung back down again it’s worse than it was before (0)
18: He Was Really Sayin’ Somethin’ (0)
18: Scum (d. Alan Clarke, 1977) (0)
17: From the cows to the dairy; from the dairy on to you (0)
16: Tory! Tori! Toré! (0)
15: Does It Offend You, Yeah? (0)
15: Is you is or is you ain’t? (0)
14: Never Miss A Beat (0)
12: Anxiety (Get Nervous) (0)
11: Ministerial approval (0)
11: Counting Crows (0)
10: Sleepwalking to disaster (0)
09: Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think? (0)
08: Ten Things I Learned On My Holidays (0)

August 2008 (1)
Detailed Monthly Archive

20: It’ll Never Be Over For Me (0)

June 2008 (12)
Detailed Monthly Archive

21: Some sunny day (0)
11: Day 4,058 (0)
10: A fool and his money… and financial regulators (0)
10: Dire Straits? It’s like BCCI never happened (0)
07: Purrrrrrrrrrrrrr (1)
07: For mine is the kingdom, the power AND the glory (0)
06: Vennacular (1)
05: I don’t like reggae, sir – no, no (1)
04: Amos Brearley (0)
04: And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee (0)
04: I Want Candy (0)
03: Stand By Me (1)

May 2008 (7)
Detailed Monthly Archive

27: It ain’t me, it ain’t me: I ain’t no fortunate son (1)
23: The Logical Song (0)
19: Cut your heart out for the prize while the bitch sings hallelujah (3)
16: This Is A Low (Redux) (0)
12: Much verbosity about nothing (1)
09: If you build it, they will come (0)
02: Where do we go from here? Is it down to the lake, I fear? (3)

April 2008 (17)
Detailed Monthly Archive

28: SMIP #9: Union City Blue by Blondie (0)
25: Time goes by so slowly… (0)
23: You don’t have to take this crap. You don’t have to sit back and relax (2)
21: I know it’s been so long but I thought that I’d just call around (3)
20: Can you hear that sound? It’s the sound of my respect for Duncan Fletcher ebbing away. (0)
18: Harry Potter And The Clueless Gimps (1)
18: Careful with that giant cotton bud, buddy (0)
17: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in singles bars (0)
17: It’s shaping up to be another bad year for Gordon Brown (3)
16: This Old Heart Of Mine (Is Weak For You) (2)
13: SMIC #6: “It was you, Charlie” from Raging Bull (Martin Scorcese, 1980) (1)
07: SMIP #8: Walk Away Renee (Version) by Billy Bragg (4)
06: Is what is pious pious because it is loved by the gods? Or is it loved by the gods because it is pious? (2)
06: Three presidents, three saints and two geniuses… (0)
04: Dont know when I’ll be back again (1)
03: Weak In The Presence Of Beauty (1)
01: Technical difficulties (1)

March 2008 (10)
Detailed Monthly Archive

28: Wonky Willie’s an Oompah-Loompah (2)
23: I Second That Emotion (3)
21: The Boys Are Back In Town (3)
19: Would the last person to give up on this country please switch off the lights? (1)
19: SMIC #5: ‘Danny Boy’ from Miller’s Crossing (Joel & Ethan Coen, 1990) (1)
18: Something’s lost but something’s gained in living every day (0)
17: Stereo VHF; 433 and 330 on Medium Wave… (1)
16: Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width (0)
13: Truth Minister very simple man (0)
05: I’d rather be a hammer than a nail (1)

February 2008 (24)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: I thought you was better than the white man, Masta. But you is just white! (0)
29: Mothers And Daughters, Fathers And Sons (0)
29: The Big E (I Won’t Stop Loving You) (0)
28: Plus ça change… (0)
28: The times they are a-telling, and the changing isn’t free (0)
26: “Ah, Mr Satan, if you could just take this Earth away in the hand cart we’ve provided” (2)
24: I Want A New Drug (0)
24: SMIC #4: “The Source” from Otto E Mezzo (Federico Fellini, 1963) (0)
23: Brolly-olly-olly-olly (0)
23: Look, why can’t you just be happy for me? (0)
21: Lost In Music (1)
19: Show-boating? The last handcart to Hell leaves in fifteen minutes. (0)
15: How Chancerism works (0)
15: Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right (0)
14: Ministerial speechlessness put on hold for another day (0)
14: What are you supposed to do when they all look the same? (0)
12: People are people so why should it be you and I should get along so awfully? (2)
11: Idle thoughts (0)
07: When Gareth Southgate is the voice of reason, the game of football is fucked (1)
07: The future’s shite, the future’s orange (0)
06: …not so tough on the causes of fuckwittedness (0)
05: Will work 4 food (1)
03: Just because you feel good doesn’t make it right (1)
01: Mano del Dios (0)

January 2008 (36)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: O clouds, unfold! (1)
30: Tinker (0)
26: SMIC #3: ‘The Billiards Room’ from Le Cercle Rouge (Jean-Pierre Melville, 1967) (0)
25: And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me… (0)
25: Id, ego and super-ego (0)
24: In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make (0)
24: Bros (2)
23: The Disgraced Former Europe Minister Keith Vaz (0)
22: A restraining order is just another way of saying ‘I love you’ (0)
22: Sign on…sign on, with a pen in your hand, ‘cos you’ll neeeeveeeer get a job! You’ll ne-…etc (2)
22: Take your hat off when you’re talking to me (0)
21: Blue Monday (0)
21: Deputy Sheriff said to me, “Tell me what you come here for, boy.” (0)
20: A Morphine, Diazepam and Dosulepin cocktail must surely do the trick? (0)
18: I fought the law… (1)
17: Shabby and shameful (2)
17: I have never wished to make a public statement like this (1)
16: Themeless (1)
16: SMIC #2: “Slow Motion” from Shichinin No Samurai (Akira Kurosawa, 1954) (0)
15: Who goes? You decide (0)
14: Communication let me down (0)
14: SMIP #6B: Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen (1)
11: How Did It Ever Come To This? (1)
09: Inform, educate, entertain (0)
08: SMIP #6A: Cars And Girls by Prefab Sprout (0)
08: Well bowled, Harold (1)
08: Enter your own “Why the long face?” pun here (0)
07: Brother – there’s far too many of you dying (1)
05: Evidence-based medicine (1)
05: Losing My Religion (4)
04: Harry Potter And The Erased Bookmark (1)
03: Stuff and nonsense (0)
02: SMIC #1: “Dancing in the Park” from The Band Wagon (Vincente Minnelli, 1953) (1)
02: Long live Hooky Street (0)
02: Harry Potter And The Stench Of Desperation (1)
02: Voluntary Transitioning (0)

December 2007 (35)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: Best Law Firm 2008 (1)
31: Harry Potter And The Nasty Aftertaste (1)
31: We will not let you go (0)
28: 30 years is a long time in sadomasochism (0)
25: A time for trusting, not deceiving (1)
25: Bring us some figgy pudding; we won’t go until we’ve got some (1)
24: The Venerable Francis Vernon (0)
24: I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Broadway (0)
20: It’s a nice day for a white wedding (0)
20: Taking acid and eating only cornflakes (1)
19: The Kulcha Show And Tell (0)
19: Holiday opening hours (1)
18: I’m as mad as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore (2)
17: Stop right now (0)
17: All I Want For Christmas Is… (0)
17: Live ‘N’ Sleazy (1)
14: Forza Inghilterra (0)
13: Reality bites (0)
13: Every little helps (0)
13: This is the end, beautiful friend (0)
13: Our next station stop will be Pinhead Central (0)
12: Small Blue Thing (0)
11: Leverage (0)
11: Blue Monday (1)
09: SMIP #5: Soul Man by Sam & Dave (1)
08: Choo choo puff (0)
08: Well if you´re going to call me a git, I may as well be one… (0)
07: I had a title for this post but I forgot it (0)
04: Strictly Dumb Prancing (0)
04: No shit, Sherlock (0)
03: The new design looks best in Opera… (1)
03: Careful what you wish for (1)
03: Bingo Handjob (0)
01: This might sting a little (1)
01: Black and fuscia was the new black…but you changed all that (1)

November 2007 (11)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: Oh, the humanity… (1)
29: Wet Paint (5)
27: How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? (1)
27: I did it Third Way (0)
26: You choose your leaders and place your trust… (0)
22: Pursued by a bear (2)
20: ‘Ave it (0)
15: End Of The Innocents? (0)
04: No more worries for a week or two (2)
02: I’ll think of a witty heading when I’ve calmed down (4)
02: Saddle up my hobbyhorse Jeeves, I’m taking it for a ride (0)

October 2007 (18)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: SMIP #4: The Day I Met Marie by Cliff Richard (6)
29: Famous grey raincoat (1)
26: Green and pleasant land (0)
25: How do you think I’m going to get along, without you by my side (3)
24: The Lesser Free Trade Hall’s got a lot to answer for (1)
23: Bungle, George and Zippy (1)
20: Sorry seems to be the hardest word… (1)
18: Moneyfunsters (0)
18: I was born for nothing, mostly (0)
16: With two swingin’ honeys for every guy all you have to do is just wink your eye (0)
11: To die by your side? Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine (1)
09: One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other One (0)
08: Endurance (0)
05: SMIP #3: Atmosphere by Joy Division (10)
05: SMIP #2: Have I The Right? by The Honeycombs (1)
04: Listen To What The Men Said (6)
04: 10 Things I Hate About You, Mick and Keith (3)
03: SMIP, Crackle and Pop (3)

September 2007 (25)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: Treasure the ball…give it life (Jo Maso) (2)
28: Fuck Me (0)
27: And the antonym of “excel” is…? (0)
26: I never thought for a moment that human life could be so cheap (1)
24: SMIP #1: Happy Together by The Turtles (2)
21: The Only Way Is Up (0)
20: “What would you like on your toast, dear?” “Soapy Titwank!” (2)
19: Dog doesn’t bite Man (1)
19: Professional and businesslike (0)
18: Primum non nocere, my arse (1)
18: iPhone therefore iTakeMyBusinessElsewhere (1)
18: He’s short, he’s round, he bounces on the ground… (1)
16: A Pox o’ your throat, you bawling, blasphemous, uncharitable dog! (0)
16: Kill me now (0)
15: F.U.B.A.R. (0)
15: Great Moments in Pop (1)
15: I honestly can’t think of a witty heading other than, “Is it me or…” (0)
14: Little boxes made of ticky-tacky (4)
13: Bring On The Dancing Horses (0)
12: Have it (0)
11: “uh one-two, one, two. Hello walmart shoppers…” (3)
11: The MacKnackered Lecture 2007 (6)
04: Secret Seven, Hamilton Academical Nil (3)
03: P and R are the first two letters in ‘prick’ (1)
01: Calling Jeremy Vine (3)

August 2007 (19)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: I always wanted you to go into space, man (0)
29: You’d better run for your life from me, little girl (2)
23: Poor Marvin (0)
22: Hubris, nemesis, etc (0)
21: Fell At Your Feet (0)
21: The Average Director’s Knowledge of Football (2)
20: Reality Bites (0)
19: Thought For The Day (0)
17: I Me Mine (0)
15: If a Redwood falls in the forest, does it make a sound? (0)
15: I Would Die 4 UPS (0)
13: Is it August or something? (0)
11: …But I know what I like (2)
10: While we’re name dropping… (2)
10: In a Devon Loch stylee (0)
09: I’m almost tempted to seek out Nick”y” Campbell’s column (0)
09: Sue, Grabbit & Run (0)
08: Fathers And Daughters (2)
07: There Are Worse Things I Could Do (0)

July 2007 (35)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: Official: YouTube helps democracy… (0)
31: Can’t you just stop being funny for one moment? (0)
30: Skammen (2)
30: Matron – the bicycle pump! (0)
26: My middle finger is doing the walking (1)
26: I can’t even be arsed thinking up a title for yet another Nick”y” Fucking Campbell rant (0)
25: Haine Le Hain (0)
25: With few words you can speak the truth (0)
25: Say it ain’t so, Vino (2)
24: The Weasley kids will look like Paul Scholes crossed with Liam Gallagher (1)
24: I will only provide a urine sample when asked (4)
21: The President’s Brain Is Missing (0)
21: A thousand words (0)
20: Bad as in bad (0)
20: Harry Potter And The Guardian’s Death Knell (0)
18: Zone Interdite (1)
18: It’s the only language they understand (0)
17: It takes a very special radio broadcaster to make Matthew Bannister look good (1)
16: S’Express’s third single release (0)
16: What I did on my holidays (0)
16: Why don’t you give me a call? (0)
16: …if it’s the last thing we ever do (0)
16: Pretty Fucking Insane (0)
15: Dear Blue Eyed Bore (an open letter to Nicky Campbell) (0)
13: Dominatrix spanks weirdo (0)
12: Hollywood Nights (1)
12: Hr you people for real? (0)
10: This sure as hell ain’t the age of the train (0)
09: We Are The World (0)
08: Isn’t society something you step over on the way to the opera? (0)
07: Where’s that British-ness Day Bank Holiday, Gordon? (2)
06: Allons enfants… (1)
06: Red Light Spells Danger (0)
04: Rod The Mod’s haircut c.1974 (1)
01: Panic on the streets of Kensington & Chelsea… (0)

June 2007 (27)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: Dave, can we have your stag weekend in Barcelona instead of Krakow, please? (1)
29: Why don’t you like me? Why don’t you like me? (0)
28: For the love of St. Trinian… (0)
26: Fuck off, cunt, and close the door behind you (1)
26: I refuse to belong to any club that will accept me as a member (0)
26: Tell me about your brilliant new autobiography, Michael (0)
23: It’s like gold, right, but….sort of, in granular form… (0)
22: Mud barf (0)
22: Taking the Michael Holding…oh, and the piss as well. (0)
21: Dick swingers (1)
21: Blinded By The Shite (0)
21: …for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth. For ever! And ever! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! (2)
21: …and behold, I saw a pale horse… (1)
17: Ten days and counting (3)
13: Welter (5) (n.) – a confused mass; a jumble or muddle (2)
13: Splice the mainbrace (0)
13: Well, well, well: who’d’a thunk it? (2)
08: Look, Ma – no hands (0)
08: Fillum 2007 (2)
07: Let them eat cake (1)
07: Wet, Wet, Wet (0)
07: Stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before (0)
07: If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands (0)
07: Arms? It’s like the Pistols sang: “You need hands” (0)
06: Barm (0)
04: It’s 30, 50, 60 [cue tongue] (2)
03: Damascus for a Quid (0)

May 2007 (23)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: They fuck you up, your mum and dad (0)
30: Sign on, sign on, with a pen in your hand… (0)
30: Lulu’s Monkey rides again (0)
26: Now look here a minute… (0)
25: Director of Photography: Henri Paul (1)
23: Where’s Scooch when you need them? (0)
23: Never Gonna Give You Up (0)
23: The public gets what the public wants (1)
22: Rimshot (0)
22: The One With Frank Jr. (0)
18: Karma To Burn (2)
18: Why Does It Always Rain On Me? (0)
16: Give the kid the pick of pips (0)
16: Ouverture? (0)
13: I Was Right And You Were Wrong – a Deacon Blue classic (0)
11: Handbags And Gladrags (4)
10: I feel the hand of history on our shoulder (0)
08: Embarrassment (1)
07: I read the news today, oh boy… (1)
06: Insert your own witty post title here (0)
05: Whatever you once had, you’re about to let go (0)
04: You’ll find there’s nothing new that we can’t leave behind (1)
01: Correction and clarification (0)

April 2007 (12)
Detailed Monthly Archive

26: Brothers, sisters – can’t you see? The future’s owned by you and me (2)
26: Glass Onion (0)
26: Words don’t come easy to me (2)
24: Irritating Buzzing Sound (0)
20: Them as can’t be HR professionals… (0)
17: Watch Newsnight tonight (1)
17: Like a baby seal (1)
17: Cheer Up (You Miserable Fuck) (0)
16: I’M SHINING LIKE A NEW DIME (1)
13: Say It Ain’t So, Joe (1)
11: Hit your late thirties and everything’s greyer (7)
05: Happy Easter (War Is Over) (0)

March 2007 (25)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: It’s a beautiful day: don’t let it get away (0)
29: Shady’s Back (1)
29: The Milky Bars are on me
29: Pinkie Brown (1)
29: Like a hurtling, fevered train (0)
24: That nice Crucify song… (0)
23: The weekend starts here (1)
23: The trouble with calling someone ‘deep’ is that it tends to suggest there’s something at the bottom (0)
23: They don’t make ‘em like that anymore
18: What a way to go… (0)
13: Run for the hills! (0)
12: Crash, bang, wallop (0)
12: Buddy, Can You Spare A Dime? (0)
10: Molto Divertente (0)
09: The Itchy And Scratchy Show (0)
09: Hang the DJ (0)
08: Thor, God of thunder (2)
07: Twelve Angry Men (minus eleven) (0)
07: Pinhead (0)
07: Kill Me Again (0)
07: Needledick (1)
05: Dog bites man: film at 11 (0)
04: Charidee begins… (0)
02: Happy and clappy (0)
01: Golden Slumbers (0)

February 2007 (24)
Detailed Monthly Archive

23: Girlfriend In A Coma (0)
21: In Politics, Boring Usually Means Good (0)
20: Cottaging (1)
19: A Prime Minister writes… (0)
19: Nostalgia’s not what it used to be (0)
18: Suggs, Chas, Mike, Lee and, er, the other three (0)
17: I wish I could make up shit like this (0)
17: All for charidee (0)
17: Pause for thought (0)
16: Celebrity Squares (1)
16: HAS THE LEFT LOST THE PLOT?
15: If it’s Thursday, it must be Hate Nicky Campbell Day (1)
08: I look for explanations; I’m taken by surprise. (0)
08: Oh, the weather outside is frightful… (0)
05: Hair Lip (0)
05: The Boomtown Rats’ second number one (0)
02: “It does me good like it bloody well should.” (0)
02: Mr. Pitiful (0)
02: Hackney (2)
01: Arthur Daley; a little dodgy maybe but underneath he’s alright (0)
01: Dr. Mainwaring, I presume? (0)
01: Where have you gone, Douglas C. Neidermeyer? (0)
01: All in all it’s just another prick in the wall (0)
01: I Might Have Been Queen (0)

January 2007 (21)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier (1)
31: Karma Police (0)
29: “If this is today’s UK, it’s scary.” (1)
28: I’VE WRITTEN IT NOW SOMEONE HAD BETTER BLOODY READ IT (2)
26: Devolution (0)
25: Dark Ages (0)
23: We love you: that is why we are here (1)
23: And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me… (0)
23: Join the Army, See the World, Meet Interesting People and Smoke All Their Dope (0)
23: Where have you gone, Morten Harket? (0)
22: Monday, Monday (0)
22: System Addict (0)
21: Hooker line and Singh-er (0)
20: Truth Exempt Shady Selfish Arsehole (0)
20: The public gets what the public wants but I want nothing this society’s got (0)
19: Smoking Gun (0)
17: Crab Apple (0)
09: Sonic Boom Bang A Bang Boy (1)
08: Crash, bang, wallop (1)
05: Slight return (0)
02: Where did it all go wrong? (1)

December 2006 (22)
Detailed Monthly Archive

22: ‘Tis the season to print folly (3)
19: All the news that’s shit to print (1)
16: Enjoy the Christmas fancy dress, boys… (0)
12: Goldenbells (0)
11: Daddy, Daddy, get me out of here (0)
11: SPotY? Not Zara (2)
07: Outstanding? Mediocre. (2)
07: Masochism (4)
07: Glory be, sing Hallelujah! (0)
07: Does your mother know that you’re out? (0)
06: Botney Bollocks (0)
06: I’m Warne out by this nonsense (0)
05: National Express (0)
03: Take off all your clothes (0)
03: Ticket To Ride (1)
03: Grammy: winner (0)
03: I’m walking here! (1)
03: …but I can’t trace time (0)
03: I wouldn’t say journalists are lazy, but… (0)
01: Mistletoe And Wine (0)
01: Hic, haec, hoc! (0)
01: Lest we forget (0)

November 2006 (10)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: Oh-oh, atomic (0)
30: Dedication’s what you need (1)
30: This week’s gratuitous Nicky Fucking Campbell insult (1)
29: Marcel Bloody Berlins (2)
29: Wham! rap (0)
29: Gentlemen and amateurs (0)
29: Practical Accountancy (0)
29: Official: insulting a politician ‘unlikely to offend’ (3)
29: Some people might disapprove of the practice (0)
28: From tiny acorns (0)

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