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February 2010 (6)
Detailed Monthly Archive

January 2010 (11)
Detailed Monthly Archive

26: Arrest Blair (0)
21: Down with chins (0)
19: Policy? Did someone say policy? (0)
19: Nerina Pallot & Theoretical Girl – Life On Mars (0)
14: Sleepwalking to disaster (0)
10: You’ve got me never knowing if I’m coming or going (0)
07: Upton, Waring, Collier, Stuart-Clark, Bingham (0)
06: Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods? (0)
05: Jumping frog… (0)
04: The Only Way Is Up (0)
03: Things The Minister Has Learned In 2010 (Part 1) (0)

December 2009 (28)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: Oli, Oli, Oli: oi, oi, oi (0)
29: The Dance Of The Cuckoos (0)
28: The 100 Best Movies Of The Decade (1)
27: Richard Bacon: This much I know (0)
26: Black leather leder chest harness MEDIUM gay int on eBay (0)
25: The Top 52 Singles of the Decade (Part 2: #20 to #1) (0)
22: Erase>Rewind (0)
22: Santaclaustraphobia (0)
20: Still so young to travel so far (0)
20: Get thee behind me, Satan… (0)
18: Paint Your Wogan (0)
17: Comfort And Joy (0)
17: Mistletoe And Whine (0)
17: If I hadn’t seen such riches I could live with being poor (0)
17: Popbitch (0)
17: I did that (0)
15: Vladimir and Oestrogen (0)
15: This working life (0)
14: Fruit & Nut (0)
12: SEXY PEOPLE: Howard Family (0)
11: Kirsty MacColl’s mother ends campaign for justice after nine years (0)
11: South of Fort Point (0)
11: Going back to my roots (0)
07: Better, better, BETTER?, AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (0)
06: Ministerial grizzle (0)
06: Why can’t we be ourselves like we were yesterday? (0)
05: The Top 52 Singles of the Decade (Part 1: #50= to #21) (0)
05: Buy the sky and sell the sky (0)

November 2009 (22)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: What’s he done? WHAT’S HE DONE?! (0)
30: Happy Monday (0)
30: The Mental Health Act 1973 (as amended) (0)
29: Some will win, some will lose (0)
28: Tactical Nuclear Penguin (0)
27: Anyone can see (0)
27: Kids say the funniest things (0)
26: Lord Reith: “rumours about my death are entirely accurate” (0)
26: It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day. (0)
25: PhotoshopDisasters: Swedish Taxi (0)
22: Dilbert (0)
21: You’ll cry and cry and try to sleep/ But sleep won’t come the whole night through (1)
20: All politics, all the time (0)
18: Bliss (0)
18: Here’s American Gladiators. Watch this; shut up; go back to bed, America. (0)
18: Blow (0)
18: Happiest day of her life… (0)
17: Projected through five flaming hoops to wild and shocked applause (0)
17: Nice (0)
17: WikiReader (0)
16: Multimedia extravaganza (0)
15: Did you hang my picture on your wall? (2)

October 2009 (35)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell… (0)
29: Honk, honk (0)
29: They’ve been spending most their lives living in a chancer’s paradise (0)
29: Disco as chillout (0)
29: SEXY PEOPLE: Mark (0)
26: The wisdom of crowds (2)
24: Hard to believe circulation figures are falling across the board, isn’t it? (0)
24: I hate you, Arnie Becker (0)
23: Cassetteboy vs Nick Griffin vs Question Time (0)
23: Wild kind of look to the day (0)
23: Rage Against The Machine (0)
23: Of all the New Labour toadies, Jack Straw must be the worst (0)
22: …and the other is the leader of the British National Party (0)
22: If you’ve Merk’d me, does that make you a merkin? (0)
22: Look At Your Hands (0)
21: SEXY PEOPLE: Laurence (0)
21: Film School Rejects Exclusive: We Shoot the Sh*t with Kevin Smith (0)
21: Pass The Port: a study of greed and gluttony in the 21st century and an abject lack of self-awareness (0)
18: SMIC #8: ‘Les Marionnettes’, from Les Quatre Cent Coups (François Truffaut, 1959) (0)
17: This one goes out to my cardiologist (0)
14: You had better do as you are told: you’d better listen to the radio (1)
13: Close but no cigar (2)
11: An empty bench in Soho Square (0)
08: Nice not to see you… (0)
07: Oh, reckless abandon. Like no one’s watching you… (0)
07: Even if you cannot hear my voice I’ll be right beside you, dear (0)
05: They fuck you up, your mum and dad (1)
05: ‘The Golden Age of Video’ by Ricardo Autobahn (0)
05: How To Lose Friends And Alienate People (0)
05: Arsehole In The Wall (1)
04: KevinSmith (ThatKevinSmith) on Twitter (0)
03: Why it’s so hard to put sex in the dictionary – Jesse Sheidlower – Slate Magazine (0)
02: Paint a perfect picture (0)
02: And now it’s only fair that I should let you know what you should know (0)
01: Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces (0)

September 2009 (31)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: Isn’t it good? (0)
29: It’s your story, your voice, your choices, and I don’t want to question them, but… (2)
29: SWs to you (0)
27: Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here (0)
26: You Raise Me Up (1)
25: Jules: this one’s for you (1)
24: The video was directed by Nigel Dick (0)
24: Behind The Scenes At The Spurs Show (0)
23: “Gof” “Uck” “Yourself” (0)
23: Six sevens (0)
22: I told you about the fool on the hill (0)
19: What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted? (0)
18: Stay classy (0)
17: Charlie Says… (1)
15: Harry Potter And The Stench Of The Guardian’s Rotting Corpse (1)
15: Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream (0)
15: Is it any wonder you are too cool to fool? (0)
14: Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) (0)
14: Hand in hand (0)
13: I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless (0)
11: Leave your make-up on and I’ll leave on the light (0)
10: Basement Songs: The Beatles, Rubber Soul (remastered) (0)
10: Goo goo goo joob (0)
09: Monomania (0)
09: I Want To Tell You (0)
09: You say you want a revolution? (0)
06: The Tao Of Ty Webb (0)
06: Ministerial failings (0)
04: Ah, look at all the lonely people… (0)
02: Word Up (0)
01: The 50 Best Singles Of The Nineties (Part 2: #20-#1) (0)

August 2009 (3)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: The 50 Best Singles Of The Nineties (Part 1: #50-#21) (0)
29: How The Minister Got His Groove Back (0)
27: Isn’t it a nobby one? And what a proper style. (0)

July 2009 (3)
Detailed Monthly Archive

June 2009 (39)
Detailed Monthly Archive

27: Perfect Pop Single #1: Billie Jean by Michael Jackson (4)
25: Michael Jackson, RIP (0)
14: (There’s) Always Something There To Remind Me (1)
12: You might have succeeded in changing me (0)
12: Rubbisherwatch 5 (0)
11: It’s me or Iggy Pop – time to decide (0)
11: This is the life of illusion: wrapped up in trouble, laced with confusion (0)
11: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (0)
10: They’re laughing at you, not with you (0)
10: Consider this the hint of the century (0)
10: Mr. Beavis, meet Mr. Butthead (0)
09: …or are you just pleased to see me? (0)
09: The yolk’s on him – geddit?! (1)
09: Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti (0)
09: Rubbisherwatch 4 (0)
08: ROTFLMAO (0)
08: I’m so very, very ‘umble (0)
08: I use the word ‘cunt’ a lot but… (0)
08: These are crazy days but they make me shine (0)
08: Half A Shilling (0)
07: The man on the wireless cries again, “It’s over, it’s over!” (0)
07: Thunderbolt and lightning: very, very frightening (0)
06: He leadeth me the quiet waters by (0)
05: If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me? (0)
05: Big Yellow Taxi (0)
05: We’ve Only Just Begun (0)
04: Dancing With Tears In My Eyes (2)
04: For my nineteenth birthday I got a union card and a wedding coat (0)
04: You’re standing on my neck (0)
04: Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto: you’re beautiful! (0)
04: Rubbisherwatch 3 (0)
04: All his friends will smile as he waves to greet them (0)
04: I remember every single thing (0)
03: What’s The New, Mary Jane? (0)
03: Rubbisherwatch 2 (0)
02: Harry Potter And The Rediscovery Of Cojones (0)
02: Please remember my life is in your hands (0)
02: Vaz entertainment (0)
01: Vote Dave, get Jabba (0)

May 2009 (46)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: I don’t care if we spend the night at your mansion (0)
31: Rubbisherwatch 1 (0)
30: Have You Ever Had It Blue? (0)
30: If this is your favourite song, turn your radio on (0)
29: I was born in Hackney. When you’re born in Hackney and you do well in life, you move to Chigwell (0)
28: Everybody knows a bloke called Dave (0)
27: Harry Potter and the Final Straw (0)
26: Swimsuit parade (2)
26: There’s a strange reaction: can you feel it, too? (0)
24: Refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach (0)
23: Do you like to boogie woogie? (0)
23: Proctorology (0)
23: Carry On Nurse (0)
22: Do They Mean Us? (0)
22: I’ve tried to see your point of view but could not hear or see for jealousy (0)
21: Trying to make some sense of it all, but I can see that it makes no sense at all (0)
21: The cost so high, the gain so low (0)
20: Mmm, glufosinate…. (0)
20: Greater love hath no man than this (0)
20: This May, Or May Not, Be It (0)
20: Jenn[ie] Was A Friend Of Mine (0)
19: Bell end (0)
19: Wolf Blitzer and me (1)
19: Silent W (0)
18: You Are My Favourite (0)
18: Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) (0)
17: Everything Is Average Nowadays (0)
15: Bit of a cock up on the old democracy front (0)
14: That was fuckin’ trippy… (0)
13: The Mummy Returns (0)
13: This town is coming like a ghost town (0)
12: This Little Bird (0)
11: Immune to your consultations (0)
11: More residuals for Wogan (0)
11: Out here in the fields I fight for my meals (0)
10: Prime Minister Gordon Brown finds himself in a tricky position (0)
10: You won’t be seeing rainbows anymore (0)
10: A black fly in your Chardonnay (0)
09: I’m being taken over by the fear (0)
09: Can you smell what it is yet? (0)
09: Pop Tart (0)
07: The sun went down and the night began (0)
06: Me and me mum and me dad and me gran (0)
06: It’s so sa-a-a-ad that you’re leaving (0)
04: 30 years of hurt never stopped me dreaming… (0)
04: Get out. Meet people. (0)

April 2009 (22)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: Ray Von (0)
29: Fascinating creatures (0)
28: Now my stomach is sick (0)
28: If ever there was a time to emigrate… (0)
27: What’choo talkin’ ’bout, Dave? (0)
27: Through early morning fog I see visions of the things to be (0)
27: We’ve got some half-price cracked ice and miles and miles of carpet tiles (0)
24: Now I know there’s no way I can right those wrongs (0)
22: I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself (0)
22: Slowly and surely your senses will cease to resist (0)
22: 304 Holloway Road (1)
21: Now go and apologise to God (0)
21: Anger is an energy (0)
17: Gordon, Gordon, you bastard, I’m through (0)
15: Beware the savage claw (0)
13: Get back to where you once belonged (0)
08: Straight Outta Compton; side one, track two (0)
07: I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain (0)
02: Members: sniff your Sharpies (0)
02: A Fish Called Selma (0)
02: I want you, I want you, I want you (0)
01: A policeman knew my name/ He said “You can go sleep at home tonight if you can get up and walk away” (1)

March 2009 (17)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: And if you’re wondering what this song is leading to… (0)
31: Hedonism (Just Because You Feel Good) (0)
30: Man admits to not knowing price of pint of milk (0)
27: Let’s Hear It For The Boy (0)
27: You’re a star in the face of the sky (0)
27: Let me show you the queens, the dudes, the class, the crudes, the folks that inhabit the night… (0)
23: Clowns to the left of me; jokers to the right (0)
19: Keep Calm And Carry On (1)
18: You can lead a Minister to fruity, juicy goodness… (0)
17: 21st Century Paxo (0)
13: The happiest sound of them all (1)
12: “It is our duty to look after ourselves” (1)
10: Twat of the Day Redux (0)
09: I hope I don’t die too soon/I pray the Lord my soul to save (0)
09: Twat of the Day (0)
07: Things The Minister Learnt On His Holiday (0)
02: I’d Buy That for a Dollar! (1)

February 2009 (19)
Detailed Monthly Archive

26: The Minister’s difficult first album (0)
25: I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees (2)
22: I can’t hide the tears but I don’t care (0)
20: I have to tell you just how I feel: I won’t share you with another boy (0)
20: That’s how the light gets in (0)
18: Minister watches Brits; becomes his father (0)
18: Born To Hand Jive (0)
18: Maybe we’ll turn back the hands of time (0)
17: “For long as I’ve seen him, he’s always given the impression of being a slimy invertebrate” (0)
17: If you change your mind, I’m the first in line (0)
16: Lemon, “Rich 50″ is “Middle Class 38″, OK? (0)
16: Born Under Punches (0)
12: Go and tell it to the man who lives in Hell (1)
10: You make the knife feel good (3)
10: Harry Potter and the Lunatic Asylum Management Buy-Out (0)
05: Tags: fuckwits, snow (0)
04: The $1,000,000,000,000 Question (0)
04: Spolier alert (1)
03: Where do you go AFTER you’ve dumbed down? (0)

January 2009 (21)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: They made it happen all right… (0)
30: “Nice to have something for free in this country at the moment, isn’t it?” (1)
27: Evolution did not end with us growing thumbs – you do know that, right? (0)
27: Yo, homes: smell you later (2)
27: I’m here to help you leisure, give you pleasure… (0)
26: And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (1)
25: What the fuck do they put in the coffee in Seattle? (1)
23: The sound of one hand clapping (0)
22: When you see a crowd I see a flock (0)
21: Curate’s Egg (0)
20: Bring me your tired, your poor, your sick and injured (0)
20: Auntie’s Bloomers (0)
19: Right Said Fred (0)
19: The Best Things In Life Are Free (0)
13: Are you still there, Tree People? (0)
12: If you feel like giving me a lifetime of devotion… (1)
12: De-Press To Play (0)
09: I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours, but… (1)
07: Thought For The Day (0)
06: The Day Today (0)
01: Neunundneunzig jahre krieg (0)

December 2008 (21)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: Please don’t throw me in the briar patch (1)
30: Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head (0)
28: No Irish (except Wogan), No Blacks, No Dogs (1)
24: SMIP #12: Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles (1)
22: I did my best; it wasn’t much (5)
21: SMIC #7: ‘Fire and Water’, from Zerkalo (Andrei Tarkovsky, 1974) (2)
21: Colophonics of the Redesign (1)
18: Free Deirdre Rashid (0)
18: No, no, no: listen to ME (0)
18: Balls the size of water melons (0)
17: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town (0)
17: I went down to the crossroad, fell down on my knees (1)
13: Jingle Bells (0)
10: It’s the economy, stupid (Part 3) (0)
09: It’s the economy, stupid (Part 2) (0)
09: It’s the economy, stupid (Part 1) (0)
07: SMIP #11: Brother Love’s Travelling Salvation Show by Neil Diamond (0)
06: Harry Potter And The Futility Of Parting With 80p Daily (And £1.60 On Saturdays) (1)
04: No. No. A thousand times no. (0)
03: Harry Potter And The Onset Of Self-Doubt (1)
02: Album Of The Year (0)

November 2008 (27)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: Rah, rah, rah! We’re going to smash the oiks! (0)
28: It was 20 years ago today Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play (1)
27: SMIP #10: She’s A Mystery To Me by Roy Orbison (3)
27: Thanksgiving turkey (0)
27: Can we have more Lovejoy, too? (0)
27: After changes upon changes we are more or less the same (0)
26: Who Are You? (0)
25: D (0)
25: Popdose’s 100 favourite singles of the last 50 years (0)
24: Planet Earth is blue (2)
24: Red Light Spells Danger (0)
24: Out, damned spot (0)
21: Insert your own ‘gobble’ joke here (1)
20: Maybe it was better left unsaid (0)
20: Exhuming McCarthy (3)
19: It’s a sad, sad situation and it’s getting more and more absurd (0)
18: The Times they are a-changin’ (0)
18: Lies, damned lies and statistics (1)
16: Creativity Killed The Cat (0)
15: I, I’m a one-way motorway (1)
10: Spamalot (0)
07: Tastes just like cherry cola (1)
07: Oops…nearly forgot… (0)
05: They Call Me MISTER President! (1)
02: Between Barack and a hard place (1)
02: Joe Le Taxi (0)
02: I can take the despair: it’s the hope I can’t stand (0)

October 2008 (41)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: Where have you gone, Joe De Plu-u-mber? (0)
30: Tomorrow Belongs To Me (0)
29: Lean On Me (0)
29: I’ll be Bing Crosby to your David Bowie (0)
28: The 24th distinct bi-prime (0)
27: As safe as the Bank of England (0)
26: Beaucoup de blanc, tres peu de jaune (0)
23: Is that a pistol in your pocket…? (0)
23: There’s a moose loose (0)
22: Jesus Harold Christ… (1)
22: Don’t tell me that you think it’s green: me, I know it’s red (1)
20: U-S-A! U-S-A! (0)
19: What the world needs now is love, sweet love (0)
18: Bikini-clad girl on the front who invited you in (0)
18: A small drop of hope… (0)
17: Loving You Has Made My Life Sweeter Than Ever (0)
16: Excuse ME?! (0)
16: I denounce and condemn, sir, your paralinguistic adroitness (1)
16: Over and out (1)
15: Twiddley-dee, twiddley-dum: look out baby, ’cause here I come (0)
15: Blame It On The Boogie (0)
14: So close and yet so far away – just a mirage (0)
12: Palin to insignificance (0)
11: Now THAT’S more like it… (1)
10: Never Miss A Beat (0)
10: 75 not out (0)
10: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes (0)
09: Actuarially speaking, there’s a one-in-three chance this is the next-but-one President of the United States of America (0)
09: No-one likes her; we don’t care (0)
09: I’ll be gone in a day or two (0)
08: How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? (1)
07: It’s like deja vu all over again (0)
07: Won’t it be strange when we’re all fully grown? (0)
06: This one time, at Band Camp… (0)
05: Nasty, narcissistic, fat racist (0)
04: Say goodnight, Gracie (0)
03: The Cabinet Reshuffle (0)
03: I feel the need… the need for speed (0)
02: Hmm… well… let’s see… (1)
02: LIPSTICK! (0)
01: Just another afternoon to get drunk and disappear (0)

September 2008 (24)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: Let’s go some place like Bolivia (1)
29: You cheat and you lie – it makes me wanna cry (0)
29: (adj.) worn out; exhausted; used up (0)
28: King Bono of Ireland (0)
28: I’d rather spend my time not wishing you with me rather than wish you dead (0)
26: “I don’t know… you know?” (1)
26: Where Have All The Cowboys Gone? (0)
22: Blue Monday (0)
21: When you’re down and out, when you’re on the street… (0)
19: You could never run this country, buddy, I’ll tell you that much… (0)
19: Now I’ve swung back down again it’s worse than it was before (0)
18: He Was Really Sayin’ Somethin’ (0)
18: Scum (d. Alan Clarke, 1977) (0)
17: From the cows to the dairy; from the dairy on to you (0)
16: Tory! Tori! Toré! (0)
15: Does It Offend You, Yeah? (0)
15: Is you is or is you ain’t? (0)
14: Never Miss A Beat (0)
12: Anxiety (Get Nervous) (0)
11: Ministerial approval (0)
11: Counting Crows (0)
10: Sleepwalking to disaster (0)
09: Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think? (0)
08: Ten Things I Learned On My Holidays (0)

August 2008 (1)
Detailed Monthly Archive

20: It’ll Never Be Over For Me (0)

June 2008 (12)
Detailed Monthly Archive

21: Some sunny day (0)
11: Day 4,058 (0)
10: A fool and his money… and financial regulators (0)
10: Dire Straits? It’s like BCCI never happened (0)
07: Purrrrrrrrrrrrrr (1)
07: For mine is the kingdom, the power AND the glory (0)
06: Vennacular (1)
05: I don’t like reggae, sir – no, no (1)
04: Amos Brearley (0)
04: And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee (0)
04: I Want Candy (0)
03: Stand By Me (1)

May 2008 (7)
Detailed Monthly Archive

27: It ain’t me, it ain’t me: I ain’t no fortunate son (1)
23: The Logical Song (0)
19: Cut your heart out for the prize while the bitch sings hallelujah (3)
16: This Is A Low (Redux) (0)
12: Much verbosity about nothing (1)
09: If you build it, they will come (0)
02: Where do we go from here? Is it down to the lake, I fear? (3)

April 2008 (17)
Detailed Monthly Archive

28: SMIP #9: Union City Blue by Blondie (0)
25: Time goes by so slowly… (0)
23: You don’t have to take this crap. You don’t have to sit back and relax (2)
21: I know it’s been so long but I thought that I’d just call around (3)
20: Can you hear that sound? It’s the sound of my respect for Duncan Fletcher ebbing away. (0)
18: Harry Potter And The Clueless Gimps (1)
18: Careful with that giant cotton bud, buddy (0)
17: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in singles bars (0)
17: It’s shaping up to be another bad year for Gordon Brown (3)
16: This Old Heart Of Mine (Is Weak For You) (2)
13: SMIC #6: “It was you, Charlie” from Raging Bull (Martin Scorcese, 1980) (1)
07: SMIP #8: Walk Away Renee (Version) by Billy Bragg (2)
06: Is what is pious pious because it is loved by the gods? Or is it loved by the gods because it is pious? (2)
06: Three presidents, three saints and two geniuses… (0)
04: Dont know when I’ll be back again (1)
03: Weak In The Presence Of Beauty (1)
01: Technical difficulties (1)

March 2008 (10)
Detailed Monthly Archive

28: Wonky Willie’s an Oompah-Loompah (2)
23: I Second That Emotion (3)
21: The Boys Are Back In Town (3)
19: Would the last person to give up on this country please switch off the lights? (1)
19: SMIC #5: ‘Danny Boy’ from Miller’s Crossing (Joel & Ethan Coen, 1990) (1)
18: Something’s lost but something’s gained in living every day (0)
17: Stereo VHF; 433 and 330 on Medium Wave… (1)
16: Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width (0)
13: Truth Minister very simple man (0)
05: I’d rather be a hammer than a nail (1)

February 2008 (24)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: I thought you was better than the white man, Masta. But you is just white! (0)
29: Mothers And Daughters, Fathers And Sons (0)
29: The Big E (I Won’t Stop Loving You) (0)
28: Plus ça change… (0)
28: The times they are a-telling, and the changing isn’t free (0)
26: “Ah, Mr Satan, if you could just take this Earth away in the hand cart we’ve provided” (2)
24: I Want A New Drug (0)
24: SMIC #4: “The Source” from Otto E Mezzo (Federico Fellini, 1963) (0)
23: Brolly-olly-olly-olly (0)
23: Look, why can’t you just be happy for me? (0)
21: Lost In Music (1)
19: Show-boating? The last handcart to Hell leaves in fifteen minutes. (0)
15: How Chancerism works (0)
15: Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right (0)
14: Ministerial speechlessness put on hold for another day (0)
14: What are you supposed to do when they all look the same? (0)
12: People are people so why should it be you and I should get along so awfully? (2)
11: Idle thoughts (0)
07: When Gareth Southgate is the voice of reason, the game of football is fucked (1)
07: The future’s shite, the future’s orange (0)
06: …not so tough on the causes of fuckwittedness (0)
05: Will work 4 food (1)
03: Just because you feel good doesn’t make it right (1)
01: Mano del Dios (0)

January 2008 (36)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: O clouds, unfold! (1)
30: Tinker (0)
26: SMIC #3: ‘The Billiards Room’ from Le Cercle Rouge (Jean-Pierre Melville, 1967) (0)
25: And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me… (0)
25: Id, ego and super-ego (0)
24: In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make (0)
24: Bros (2)
23: The Disgraced Former Europe Minister Keith Vaz (0)
22: A restraining order is just another way of saying ‘I love you’ (0)
22: Sign on…sign on, with a pen in your hand, ‘cos you’ll neeeeveeeer get a job! You’ll ne-…etc (2)
22: Take your hat off when you’re talking to me (0)
21: Blue Monday (0)
21: Deputy Sheriff said to me, “Tell me what you come here for, boy.” (0)
20: A Morphine, Diazepam and Dosulepin cocktail must surely do the trick? (0)
18: I fought the law… (1)
17: Shabby and shameful (2)
17: I have never wished to make a public statement like this (1)
16: Themeless (1)
16: SMIC #2: “Slow Motion” from Shichinin No Samurai (Akira Kurosawa, 1954) (0)
15: Who goes? You decide (0)
14: Communication let me down (0)
14: SMIP #6B: Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen (1)
11: How Did It Ever Come To This? (1)
09: Inform, educate, entertain (0)
08: SMIP #6A: Cars And Girls by Prefab Sprout (0)
08: Well bowled, Harold (1)
08: Enter your own “Why the long face?” pun here (0)
07: Brother – there’s far too many of you dying (1)
05: Evidence-based medicine (1)
05: Losing My Religion (4)
04: Harry Potter And The Erased Bookmark (1)
03: Stuff and nonsense (0)
02: SMIC #1: “Dancing in the Park” from The Band Wagon (Vincente Minnelli, 1953) (1)
02: Long live Hooky Street (0)
02: Harry Potter And The Stench Of Desperation (1)
02: Voluntary Transitioning (0)

December 2007 (35)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: Best Law Firm 2008 (1)
31: Harry Potter And The Nasty Aftertaste (1)
31: We will not let you go (0)
28: 30 years is a long time in sadomasochism (0)
25: A time for trusting, not deceiving (1)
25: Bring us some figgy pudding; we won’t go until we’ve got some (1)
24: The Venerable Francis Vernon (0)
24: I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Broadway (0)
20: It’s a nice day for a white wedding (0)
20: Taking acid and eating only cornflakes (1)
19: The Kulcha Show And Tell (0)
19: Holiday opening hours (1)
18: I’m as mad as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore (2)
17: Stop right now (0)
17: All I Want For Christmas Is… (0)
17: Live ‘N’ Sleazy (1)
14: Forza Inghilterra (0)
13: Reality bites (0)
13: Every little helps (0)
13: This is the end, beautiful friend (0)
13: Our next station stop will be Pinhead Central (0)
12: Small Blue Thing (0)
11: Leverage (0)
11: Blue Monday (1)
09: SMIP #5: Soul Man by Sam & Dave (1)
08: Choo choo puff (0)
08: Well if you´re going to call me a git, I may as well be one… (0)
07: I had a title for this post but I forgot it (0)
04: Strictly Dumb Prancing (0)
04: No shit, Sherlock (0)
03: The new design looks best in Opera… (1)
03: Careful what you wish for (1)
03: Bingo Handjob (0)
01: This might sting a little (1)
01: Black and fuscia was the new black…but you changed all that (1)

November 2007 (11)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: Oh, the humanity… (1)
29: Wet Paint (5)
27: How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? (1)
27: I did it Third Way (0)
26: You choose your leaders and place your trust… (0)
22: Pursued by a bear (2)
20: ‘Ave it (0)
15: End Of The Innocents? (0)
04: No more worries for a week or two (2)
02: I’ll think of a witty heading when I’ve calmed down (4)
02: Saddle up my hobbyhorse Jeeves, I’m taking it for a ride (0)

October 2007 (18)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: SMIP #4: The Day I Met Marie by Cliff Richard (6)
29: Famous grey raincoat (1)
26: Green and pleasant land (0)
25: How do you think I’m going to get along, without you by my side (3)
24: The Lesser Free Trade Hall’s got a lot to answer for (1)
23: Bungle, George and Zippy (1)
20: Sorry seems to be the hardest word… (1)
18: Moneyfunsters (0)
18: I was born for nothing, mostly (0)
16: With two swingin’ honeys for every guy all you have to do is just wink your eye (0)
11: To die by your side? Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine (1)
09: One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other One (0)
08: Endurance (0)
05: SMIP #3: Atmosphere by Joy Division (10)
05: SMIP #2: Have I The Right? by The Honeycombs (1)
04: Listen To What The Men Said (6)
04: 10 Things I Hate About You, Mick and Keith (3)
03: SMIP, Crackle and Pop (3)

September 2007 (25)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: Treasure the ball…give it life (Jo Maso) (2)
28: Fuck Me (0)
27: And the antonym of “excel” is…? (0)
26: I never thought for a moment that human life could be so cheap (1)
24: SMIP #1: Happy Together by The Turtles (2)
21: The Only Way Is Up (0)
20: “What would you like on your toast, dear?” “Soapy Titwank!” (2)
19: Dog doesn’t bite Man (1)
19: Professional and businesslike (0)
18: Primum non nocere, my arse (1)
18: iPhone therefore iTakeMyBusinessElsewhere (1)
18: He’s short, he’s round, he bounces on the ground… (1)
16: A Pox o’ your throat, you bawling, blasphemous, uncharitable dog! (0)
16: Kill me now (0)
15: F.U.B.A.R. (0)
15: Great Moments in Pop (1)
15: I honestly can’t think of a witty heading other than, “Is it me or…” (0)
14: Little boxes made of ticky-tacky (4)
13: Bring On The Dancing Horses (0)
12: Have it (0)
11: “uh one-two, one, two. Hello walmart shoppers…” (3)
11: The MacKnackered Lecture 2007 (6)
04: Secret Seven, Hamilton Academical Nil (3)
03: P and R are the first two letters in ‘prick’ (1)
01: Calling Jeremy Vine (3)

August 2007 (19)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: I always wanted you to go into space, man (0)
29: You’d better run for your life from me, little girl (2)
23: Poor Marvin (0)
22: Hubris, nemesis, etc (0)
21: Fell At Your Feet (0)
21: The Average Director’s Knowledge of Football (2)
20: Reality Bites (0)
19: Thought For The Day (0)
17: I Me Mine (0)
15: If a Redwood falls in the forest, does it make a sound? (0)
15: I Would Die 4 UPS (0)
13: Is it August or something? (0)
11: …But I know what I like (2)
10: While we’re name dropping… (2)
10: In a Devon Loch stylee (0)
09: I’m almost tempted to seek out Nick”y” Campbell’s column (0)
09: Sue, Grabbit & Run (0)
08: Fathers And Daughters (2)
07: There Are Worse Things I Could Do (0)

July 2007 (35)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: Official: YouTube helps democracy… (0)
31: Can’t you just stop being funny for one moment? (0)
30: Skammen (2)
30: Matron – the bicycle pump! (0)
26: My middle finger is doing the walking (1)
26: I can’t even be arsed thinking up a title for yet another Nick”y” Fucking Campbell rant (0)
25: Haine Le Hain (0)
25: With few words you can speak the truth (0)
25: Say it ain’t so, Vino (2)
24: The Weasley kids will look like Paul Scholes crossed with Liam Gallagher (1)
24: I will only provide a urine sample when asked (4)
21: The President’s Brain Is Missing (0)
21: A thousand words (0)
20: Bad as in bad (0)
20: Harry Potter And The Guardian’s Death Knell (0)
18: Zone Interdite (1)
18: It’s the only language they understand (0)
17: It takes a very special radio broadcaster to make Matthew Bannister look good (1)
16: S’Express’s third single release (0)
16: What I did on my holidays (0)
16: Why don’t you give me a call? (0)
16: …if it’s the last thing we ever do (0)
16: Pretty Fucking Insane (0)
15: Dear Blue Eyed Bore (an open letter to Nicky Campbell) (0)
13: Dominatrix spanks weirdo (0)
12: Hollywood Nights (1)
12: Hr you people for real? (0)
10: This sure as hell ain’t the age of the train (0)
09: We Are The World (0)
08: Isn’t society something you step over on the way to the opera? (0)
07: Where’s that British-ness Day Bank Holiday, Gordon? (2)
06: Allons enfants… (1)
06: Red Light Spells Danger (0)
04: Rod The Mod’s haircut c.1974 (1)
01: Panic on the streets of Kensington & Chelsea… (0)

June 2007 (27)
Detailed Monthly Archive

29: Dave, can we have your stag weekend in Barcelona instead of Krakow, please? (1)
29: Why don’t you like me? Why don’t you like me? (0)
28: For the love of St. Trinian… (0)
26: Fuck off, cunt, and close the door behind you (1)
26: I refuse to belong to any club that will accept me as a member (0)
26: Tell me about your brilliant new autobiography, Michael (0)
23: It’s like gold, right, but….sort of, in granular form… (0)
22: Mud barf (0)
22: Taking the Michael Holding…oh, and the piss as well. (0)
21: Dick swingers (1)
21: Blinded By The Shite (0)
21: …for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth. For ever! And ever! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! (2)
21: …and behold, I saw a pale horse… (1)
17: Ten days and counting (3)
13: Welter (5) (n.) – a confused mass; a jumble or muddle (2)
13: Splice the mainbrace (0)
13: Well, well, well: who’d’a thunk it? (2)
08: Look, Ma – no hands (0)
08: Fillum 2007 (2)
07: Let them eat cake (1)
07: Wet, Wet, Wet (0)
07: Stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before (0)
07: If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands (0)
07: Arms? It’s like the Pistols sang: “You need hands” (0)
06: Barm (0)
04: It’s 30, 50, 60 [cue tongue] (2)
03: Damascus for a Quid (0)

May 2007 (23)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: They fuck you up, your mum and dad (0)
30: Sign on, sign on, with a pen in your hand… (0)
30: Lulu’s Monkey rides again (0)
26: Now look here a minute… (0)
25: Director of Photography: Henri Paul (1)
23: Where’s Scooch when you need them? (0)
23: Never Gonna Give You Up (0)
23: The public gets what the public wants (1)
22: Rimshot (0)
22: The One With Frank Jr. (0)
18: Karma To Burn (2)
18: Why Does It Always Rain On Me? (0)
16: Give the kid the pick of pips (0)
16: Ouverture? (0)
13: I Was Right And You Were Wrong – a Deacon Blue classic (0)
11: Handbags And Gladrags (4)
10: I feel the hand of history on our shoulder (0)
08: Embarrassment (1)
07: I read the news today, oh boy… (1)
06: Insert your own witty post title here (0)
05: Whatever you once had, you’re about to let go (0)
04: You’ll find there’s nothing new that we can’t leave behind (1)
01: Correction and clarification (0)

April 2007 (12)
Detailed Monthly Archive

26: Brothers, sisters – can’t you see? The future’s owned by you and me (2)
26: Glass Onion (0)
26: Words don’t come easy to me (2)
24: Irritating Buzzing Sound (0)
20: Them as can’t be HR professionals… (0)
17: Watch Newsnight tonight (1)
17: Like a baby seal (1)
17: Cheer Up (You Miserable Fuck) (0)
16: I’M SHINING LIKE A NEW DIME (1)
13: Say It Ain’t So, Joe (1)
11: Hit your late thirties and everything’s greyer (7)
05: Happy Easter (War Is Over) (0)

March 2007 (25)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: It’s a beautiful day: don’t let it get away (0)
29: Shady’s Back (1)
29: The Milky Bars are on me
29: Pinkie Brown (1)
29: Like a hurtling, fevered train (0)
24: That nice Crucify song… (0)
23: The weekend starts here (1)
23: The trouble with calling someone ‘deep’ is that it tends to suggest there’s something at the bottom (0)
23: They don’t make ‘em like that anymore
18: What a way to go… (0)
13: Run for the hills! (0)
12: Crash, bang, wallop (0)
12: Buddy, Can You Spare A Dime? (0)
10: Molto Divertente (0)
09: The Itchy And Scratchy Show (0)
09: Hang the DJ (0)
08: Thor, God of thunder (2)
07: Twelve Angry Men (minus eleven) (0)
07: Pinhead (0)
07: Kill Me Again (0)
07: Needledick (1)
05: Dog bites man: film at 11 (0)
04: Charidee begins… (0)
02: Happy and clappy (0)
01: Golden Slumbers (0)

February 2007 (24)
Detailed Monthly Archive

23: Girlfriend In A Coma (0)
21: In Politics, Boring Usually Means Good (0)
20: Cottaging (1)
19: A Prime Minister writes… (0)
19: Nostalgia’s not what it used to be (0)
18: Suggs, Chas, Mike, Lee and, er, the other three (0)
17: I wish I could make up shit like this (0)
17: All for charidee (0)
17: Pause for thought (0)
16: Celebrity Squares (1)
16: HAS THE LEFT LOST THE PLOT?
15: If it’s Thursday, it must be Hate Nicky Campbell Day (1)
08: I look for explanations; I’m taken by surprise. (0)
08: Oh, the weather outside is frightful… (0)
05: Hair Lip (0)
05: The Boomtown Rats’ second number one (0)
02: “It does me good like it bloody well should.” (0)
02: Mr. Pitiful (0)
02: Hackney (2)
01: Arthur Daley; a little dodgy maybe but underneath he’s alright (0)
01: Dr. Mainwaring, I presume? (0)
01: Where have you gone, Douglas C. Neidermeyer? (0)
01: All in all it’s just another prick in the wall (0)
01: I Might Have Been Queen (0)

January 2007 (21)
Detailed Monthly Archive

31: I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier (1)
31: Karma Police (0)
29: “If this is today’s UK, it’s scary.” (1)
28: I’VE WRITTEN IT NOW SOMEONE HAD BETTER BLOODY READ IT (2)
26: Devolution (0)
25: Dark Ages (0)
23: We love you: that is why we are here (1)
23: And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me… (0)
23: Join the Army, See the World, Meet Interesting People and Smoke All Their Dope (0)
23: Where have you gone, Morten Harket? (0)
22: Monday, Monday (0)
22: System Addict (0)
21: Hooker line and Singh-er (0)
20: Truth Exempt Shady Selfish Arsehole (0)
20: The public gets what the public wants but I want nothing this society’s got (0)
19: Smoking Gun (0)
17: Crab Apple (0)
09: Sonic Boom Bang A Bang Boy (1)
08: Crash, bang, wallop (1)
05: Slight return (0)
02: Where did it all go wrong? (1)

December 2006 (22)
Detailed Monthly Archive

22: ‘Tis the season to print folly (3)
19: All the news that’s shit to print (1)
16: Enjoy the Christmas fancy dress, boys… (0)
12: Goldenbells (0)
11: Daddy, Daddy, get me out of here (0)
11: SPotY? Not Zara (2)
07: Outstanding? Mediocre. (2)
07: Masochism (4)
07: Glory be, sing Hallelujah! (0)
07: Does your mother know that you’re out? (0)
06: Botney Bollocks (0)
06: I’m Warne out by this nonsense (0)
05: National Express (0)
03: Take off all your clothes (0)
03: Ticket To Ride (1)
03: Grammy: winner (0)
03: I’m walking here! (1)
03: …but I can’t trace time (0)
03: I wouldn’t say journalists are lazy, but… (0)
01: Mistletoe And Wine (0)
01: Hic, haec, hoc! (0)
01: Lest we forget (0)

November 2006 (10)
Detailed Monthly Archive

30: Oh-oh, atomic (0)
30: Dedication’s what you need (1)
30: This week’s gratuitous Nicky Fucking Campbell insult (1)
29: Marcel Bloody Berlins (2)
29: Wham! rap (0)
29: Gentlemen and amateurs (0)
29: Practical Accountancy (0)
29: Official: insulting a politician ‘unlikely to offend’ (3)
29: Some people might disapprove of the practice (0)
28: From tiny acorns (0)

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