About

The Minister is a middle-aged, middle-class, extra-large male living in the ‘Northern Home Counties’/East of England. When he has no option or excuse to do otherwise the Minister practices the dark art of the law.  The Ministry of Truth (or Minitrue, in Newspeak) features prominently in the George Orwell novel Nineteen Eighty-Four: one wonders what that Mr. Blair would make of our now-departed Mr. Blair.

Nineteen Eighty-Four is still in copyright in most jurisdictions, including the United Kingdom and the United States. The book is so good that I urge you buy a copy (available for less than a fiver on Amazon) or borrow it from a library; if that is not possible, the main Wikipedia article contains a link to a Russian-hosted English language transcription.

For the avoidance of doubt, the Minister is neither ordained nor a politician. Allegations to the contrary will be referred to the Ministry for Justice.

Things that pleasure the Minister (in no particular order)

  • Sausages
  • Social democracy
  • His iPods (plural)
  • The silver screen
  • Bill Hicks
  • The phrase “rubber bung” when over-enunciated
  • Tottenham Hotspur Football Club but not its Chairman (who’s a cunt)
  • Music played with real instruments
  • Photography
  • The Beatles
  • Laughter
  • Mary-Louise Parker generally and Weeds specifically
  • Single malt whisky
  • The environment and all the things in it (except wasps)
  • Love
  • Jarvis Cocker
  • The sound of Anglo-Saxon curses when spewed with real venom
  • Civil liberties

Things that displeasure the Minister (this could take some time)

  • Nicky Fucking Campbell
  • Nicky Fucking Campbell
  • Nicky Fucking Campbell
  • The Man
  • Injustice
  • The systematic and malicious destruction of the United Kingdom’s coal mining industry by a vindictive Conservative administration Hell-bent on extracting revenge for earlier humiliations at the hands of organized trades unionism (myname’sBenElton,thankyouverymuchgoodnight)
  • Corruption
  • Hypocrisy
  • Human Resources “professionals” (sic)
  • Nuts (it’s an allergy thing)
  • Wasps
  • Bigotry
  • Tottenham Hotspur Football Club’s chairman (who’s a cunt)
  • Greed
  • Organized religion (cf. greed)
  • Television news in the 21st century (cf. organized religion)
  • “New” Labour Home Secretaries (even those with cleavage)
  • Advertising
  • Bureaucracy
  • Most politicians…
  • …Posh Boy Dave (aka PBD) especially
  • …And that cunt Keith Vaz
  • Margaret Bloody Thatcher (aka That Bloody Woman)
  • David, “Baron” Waddington (how do you sleep?)
  • War
  • Famine
  • Pestilence
  • Hang on, there’s got to be more than that on this list: I’ll have a think.

Things on which the Minister has no strong opinion either way

  • Ant
  • Dec
  • Ant and Dec

This site is neither affiliated nor connected in any way with TruthMinistry.org and expressly disassociates itself with the utter and total complete bollocks contained on that pernicious organization’s malevolent website. Don’t visit it: it’ll just make you angry.

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